Friday, 22nd September, 2017

After Loss to Pak in finals, Indian Sports Ministry restores Hockey as our National Sport

20, Jun 2017 By Nitin Manchanda

“Chak De India” Hockey Team has a reason to celebrate!

After the defeat by “beta” in ICC Champion Trophy Final, “baap” has been stripped from the title of “National Sport”. Talking to FN in somewhat melancholic tone, the HOD of Sports Ministry stated “this is indeed a sad day”. Crocodile Tears were filling his eyes but he continued “Cricket was my real child, I loved him like my own Joffrey Baratheon/ Lannister, irrespective of his recklessness, match fixing, cheerleaders fixation and his childish tantrums, I still made him the King, our National King, but what a waste in the end!” He compared “Hockey” to “Bastard Jon Snow” and dismissed it like Bollywood has dismissed Abhishek Bachpan acting skills.

On the other hand team “Chak De India” a.k.a Our Desi Hockey Team was jubilant!

Speaking to FN, Chak De India Hockey Coach “Kabir Khan” (SRK in Beard Disguise) said stutteringly; KKKKKoi Mil Gaya, Mmmmera Dil Gaya, referring towards the title of “Nation’s Sport”. He thanked the Pakistani players and recommended that they join “English Learning Classes for Toddlers” to better their post match interviews and for the love of millions of viewers’ listening ears and cringing eyes!

The Chak De Team in totality were chanting “Sir Ravindra Jadeja’s” name and sang the song in his memorial “tum hi ho, arey tum hi ho, meri aashiqui”!

We tried to take interview of Chak De India Captain “SoiMoi” but her translator was unavailable but we did overheard her golden word “HO” and currently have our experts working and deciphering its meaning.

In other faking news “Indian Batsmen” defended their early dismissal as they wanted to do advance booking of “Bhai’s Tubelight” which releases this week.