Sunday, 24th September, 2017

IPL 2017 saga of cancelled finals

19, May 2017 By Babujee

The last minute cancellation of the latest IPL final has been devastating for the fans. Despite repeated questioning, all that reporters got from the organizers was “Unavoidable circumstances”. Recognizing the importance of the issue, we regrouped our famous investigative team of 008 and 009 (for safety, they are only known by their codes). Following is the summary:

We found the cancellation very unusual. The players were ready in the pavilion, fans had filled the stadium and even the cheerleaders had finished their hip gyrations to the collective ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ from the audience. Suddenly the match was cancelled. It was obvious that the organizers were hiding something from the public and the press.

Deal Sealed!
Deal Sealed!

We targeted the players first as they lost match fees and chance to perform and were unlikely to be happy about the situation. They were the most likely to spill the beans. However, we found that prominent players such as Mr Bakhwash Holi were not that upset as the cancellation gave them time to shoot yet another commercial. When we caught up with him on the set of a commercial for Magic Piles Pad, he was mildly frustrated “Are yaar aaj to mera double century hone wala tha. Yeh boss log sob barbad kar di.” He shook his head while adjusting the Magic Pad in his underwear

Next, we tracked down the team owners Chhutti Milta and Selfcook Khan. Owners were expected to be closer to decision making and they lost money too.

While Mr. Khan expressed his ignorance, Ms. Milta provided the first real clue, “Shuna koi chori ke liye bandh ho giya” (heard that it was canceled due to some theft) she giggled.

We checked, no equipment was stolen; players’ kits, cheerleaders’ bras, team owners’ booze; everything were in place. We even made sure that the underwear of the umpires were not compromised.

Our last hope was police station. The Station House officer was not helpful. However, we managed to develop a source within the police station at a considerable cost. He confirmed that the cancellation was due to a theft at the Board’s office evening before the match. He showed us the original FIR lodged. It clearly documented the stolen property as “Scoresheet of IPL finals”

We confirmed from reliable sources that new scoresheet is being developed at Dubai and the match will be rescheduled as soon as the scoresheet is ready. This time, the board will keep a copy at its Mumbai office as well.