Unable to get the Indian test Cricket team to perform better, BCCI has come up with a set of new “proposals”. Given the clout that BCCI wields in international cricket, ICC and MCC too have conceded to these demands. The most innovative of these is that, in future India-England test matches played in England, India will get to bat three innings and England one. According to BCCI officials this is likely to improve the Indian scores and can potentially lead to a win now and then.
Briefing reporters in Mumbai, a BCCI spokesperson said, “Our boys are a bit out of form….advertisement contracts, girl friends, IPL and all that you know….so we decided to intervene and set things right. After all it is a matter of national pride you know. So we proposed to ICC that we tweak a few rules a little bit, here and there. There was some reluctance initially, but once Pawarji put in a word, ICC agreed. MCC did not have any objection. Hey hey hey…(laughs)”.
Asked by a reporter what tweaks were done, the spokesperson elaborated. “Not much really. The first one….a minor one…is that in test matches against England in England, India bats three times and England once. That way, our boys are sure to reach a respectable total. With this, the margin of loss will reduce drastically. With this we don’t have to worry about our bowling at all. Also the match will enter into the fourth day at least and spectators too will be happy. Second, instead of one or two practice and warm up matches and five test matches, it will be the other way round. There will be five practice matches and one test match.”
Another flabbergasted reporter asked, “Sir, is all this justified? Is it fair for the game? Are there any more points like this?” The spokesperson, irritated, responded as follows. “Of course it is justified. You don’t seem to want our cricket to improve, but we want. That is our job. This is a small adjustment we are asking for. There a few other minor requests like ‘non-playing captain’, so that the captain does not lose focus on the actual game. Once these things start showing result, we want to extend it to all away games, whether it is in England or Australia or South Africa or even Bangladesh for that matter. And then we will focus on one-dayers. Hope I have cleared all your doubts. No more questions please. See you all in the cricket stadiums”.