Sunday, 22nd October, 2017

ICC allows Team India to include a bowling machine in playing XI

31, Jan 2014 By bakeafakecake

Flexing it’s huge, bulging biceps of vulgar power, the BCCI has once again done it. During the recently concluded covert meeting in Dubai, BCCI convinced the ICC to allow team India to include a bowling machine in the playing XI that will be allowed to bowl 90 overs in an innings in Tests, 40 overs in an ODI (12 overs in Powerplay, 4 balls in a superover tie breaker), and 10 overs in a T20 international.

BCCI reasoned that looking at the eating habits and historical Indian genealogy, it is not naturally possible for India to produce bowlers of any kind anymore.

Bowling machine
The latest bowler in Indian team

Talking about the ground-breaking decision, Srinivasan said, “We are not flexing our muscles here. It’s a genuine concern that had to be dealt with. And this is a fool-proof solution that will help India play upto their potential, and also improve the chances of getting close finishes in matches where team India is involved.”

Dave Richardson from ICC confirmed, “Yes, it has been agreed, and we all thought, barring a few members, that its in the best interest of the future of the sport.”

When asked about the development, skipper MSD said, “Well of-course it’s a wonderful news not only for me, but for our batsmen, our fans, and batsman from other teams. If you look at our recent record, our bowling not only lost us matches, it also pushed our batsmen into depression and to the verge of committing suicide (Referring to the recent accusation that Indian batsmen in South Africa were deliberately heading the deliveries from Steyn and Morkel, so that they can claim to have died ‘In line of duty’ in order to receive multi-billion dollar life insurance claims settlements).”

“If you look at the effect of our bowlers outside our own team, then batsmen from other teams have been complaining of injuries and tiredness after consistently hitting out bowlers for 6’s over after over. Faulkner is the recent example. You know, I told the boys after that over from Ishant, that apart from losing the match for us, that over has given Faulkner a shoulder injury as well looking at the way he hit the ball in that over. So yes, it is inhuman, and let’s hope this new step is good for the mental health of our batsmen, and physical health of batsmen all over the world,” he added.

The ICC Anti-Corruption team expressed happiness that spot fixing cases would be down to zero in India now, since the captain will be easily held responsible as he will be the one operating the machine.

Seems like wicket-keepers waiting for the bench for donkey years will finally get a bleak chance to wear those gloves in the playing field, apart from wearing them in the winter season while riding scooter.