At a press conference today, Roger Federer announced to a stunned audience that he will be partnering with countryman Stan Wawrinka in his singles matches going forward.
“We’ve been playing so well as a doubles team for Switzerland in the Davis Cup. It just made sense to implement that tactic in singles matches as well,” explained Roger. “If this doesn’t win me another Wimbledon, I am calling it quits,” he swore.
In recent times, the 17-time Grand Slam champion has changed his coach, his racquet, undergone back surgery etc. but experts believe that having the extra player on court during games will finally give him the competitive edge he is looking for.
Federer revealed that the idea came to him from an offhand comment by coach Edberg during training. “Stefan remarked it would be so much easier to beat Rafa or Novak if a player had my forehand and Wawrinka’s backhand” said Federer. “I just decided to run with that idea”.
This innovative approach is expected to cheer up his fans and, more importantly, prevent Roger’s singles ranking from dropping faster than the demand for the iPhone 5C.
Arch rival Nadal reacted with characteristic calm to this latest development – “It give me two single-handed backhands to aim at, no? I am happy for sure, no?”
Federer is rumoured to be in talks with ATP officials to let him play only 3 sets at Grand Slams as a special favour. “Everyone keeps saying how amazing it is that I am even playing at my age. Amazing, yes. But it’s also f***ing exhausting. Playing 3 sets would really make a difference” he confessed. “Or let me start playing directly from the Quarterfinals?”
He also had this warning for his rivals on tour – “Once my baby girls grow up a bit, I’ll probably bring them on court as well to help daddy out”.
Mirka was not reachable for comment as she was busy on her Blackberry ordering designer sunglasses that would be considered oversized on King Kong’s face.