In the latest news from men’s tennis, Roger Federer has approached Maria Sharapova to help him tackle Rafael Nadal. This comes after Federer’s unstoppable streak of defeats against Nadal, latest being a lame straight sets loss in Australian open.
In an official statement Federer said, “After a lot of analysis of Nadal’s game, we have come to the conclusion that it’s his grunting that’s responsible for my dismal win loss record against him. Add his loo and medical breaks to this and I am virtually out of the game. It’s just not done. This will force me into an EARLY retirement”
When asked how does Sharapova comes into picture he replied, “Well obviously, she’s the undisputed Queen of grunting business. I can learn a lot from her to give Nadal a dose of his own medicine. However, I am yet to find someone to help me use loo and medical breaks to defeat Rafa.”
Sharapova had this to say to our reporter, “Yes, I have been training that guy for the last few days and isn’t he a pain in the behind. I had hard time convincing him that he can only grunt when he himself plays the shot and not when the opponent hits the ball. He was insistent that the whole point of it is to distract the opponent and his grunting at opponents shot will be most effective”
When asked how good a learner he is, she remarked, “Well he’s grunting 2-3 times in one shot but at least is not doing it at opponent’s shot. So that’s an improvement”
She was also candid with the fee she’s charging. “In return, I have asked him to use his influence on ATP to effect a transition of Serena Williams from women’s to men’s tennis. With her kind of power she can give most men a run for their money. Additionally with she gone, WTA tournaments will also open up.”
While there has been no official word from Nadal, some unconfirmed reports say that he has already started practicing different grunting sounds for his backhands, forehands and all other shots, even the drops. “I will chase down whatever he has to throw”, he is reported to have said.