Monday, 26th June, 2017

Cricket bowler arrested after hitting batsmen by bouncers

18, Dec 2013 By Fakerazzi

Following the celebrated response to the arrest and subsequent bail of Big Boss contestant Arman Kohli, few Indian batsmen came up with better ideas to beat SA.

Indian Cricket Team
Team India celebrating.

They took help from Preet Bharara, “India and AAP”-loving supercharged DA of NY who wants to cleanse Indians and world of any sense of wrong doings.

After returning to India, Indian batsmen filed voluntary manslaughter and battery charges against SA fast bowlers for hitting them by bouncers and in turn gravely endangering their lives. They also claimed to have went through mental trauma due to bouncy pitches & resultant bowling which stopped them from hitting sixes st will. Some of them also claimed to have suffered financial damage due to lean six hitting phases.

These batsmen were ably supported by the Indian spectators sent to SA by musafir.com. They were expected to watch a wonderful six jamboree, but instead had to watch out-for-six Jamboree. God also decided to join them in his new capacity as public servant. He vehemently denied any hints that his involvement with this case has any commercial connotations. After all, even when not in retirement, he always played for country and always tried to be with junta.

A close friend of Mr. Preet Bharara filed the case before Delhi HC judge known for being sympathetic to minorities. This Judge is best known for his Sec 377 judgement read down. Considering the stature of Indian in cricketing world and their love for Aam Aadmi, Indian media under guidance of Shri Rahul Gandhi immediately swung into action.  Each and every cricketer in the world must pay their homage to the great land of cricket, India, every quarter at least once, so they did not have to wait too long.

As soon as Dale Styn & Party finished their prior engagements in India arranged by BCCI & GOI, They were arrested and put into Anda cells by Hyper Active Delhi Police. As part of interrogation, they were made to watch full inning batting of Shashtri, Vengasarkar & Gavaskar. Traumatized beyond the limit, they accepted all charges even before all seasons were finished.

By the time this news came, they have been granted bail and have went back to SA for some festivals. To earn their living, they need to come back to India anyway, hence DP is not too worried about their return.

BCCI has promised to get them released on repeated paroles if they are sentenced. In any case, most of the matches will be played in India only, hence they will have no issue going to play and be back soon in the Anda cell. No one is going to notice them anyway in stadium when Virat sixes are raining down on Great Indian pitches. Anda cells are known to be more secure than the SA streets and have excellent hospitality. They can also watch Great Indian entertainment in Mumbai/Pune jails seeing the trend of Bollywood celebrities ending up there.

In protest, SA has decided to ban Indian players from playing in their domestic T20 league. Mr. Sibal has claimed this to be zero loss for  SA Players based on above circumstances. Indian Players and board has decided to raise the issue of banning in ICC very forcefully.  SA board has also filed for review in SC and they are sure to get favorable verdict on 1.4.14.