Disappointed with the appalling viewer-ship of the chess match going on between the Indian grandmaster Vishwanathan Anand and Magnus Carlsen the BCCI (International Board of Chess Competition) has suggested to have cheerleaders dance during the board game.
Chess is considered to be the most challenging game for smartest and sharpest of minds. India being a country where nuclear technology, in-vitro fertilization and other remarkable scientific achievements have taken place centuries before any other country (if this seems odd, please read present day school books), then why is it that the Indian middle class is immune to this ‘intelligent’ game? The answer to this question needs one to probe the Indian psyche.
Indian thought is understood best by advertising companies. “We can sell to the Indian public any crap, we want during a cricket match,” said Mr. Gore Gore, the CEO of one of the most socially conscious brands like Fair and Lovely, who paid millions of dollars to put up their advertisements during the IPL matches. Where as, there are practically no companies who wish to advertise during a chess match. These are creating financial constraints as well. Reliable sources say that even ‘Vicco turmeric’ and ‘Nima Rose soap’ rejected the proposal to advertise during the present chess match. “Kounsa match? Kaun dekhta hai?” said the CEO of Rajnigandha Paan Masala.
The general knowledge among the common Indian public about chess is also quite weak. When asked ‘Who is Vishwanathan Anand?’, most only knew about the Anand, Rajesh Khanna played in one of his movies. Most did not even know of any such game existing. When insisted, most inquired about the betting rules on this game and if one can play Jua using this.
“We need to bring Chess to the masses,” said Mr. Unheard Unknown, the president of BCCI. “The only possibility seems to have cheerleades near the chess game as of now.” With every move from either side, they will dance to item songs by Yo Yo Honey Singh, and others like Baby Doll, Chikni Chameli etc. There will also be live feed on the TV screen about the incidents going on in saans bahu serial and sensex data on the monetary values of different shares. Small clips on bollywood gossip will also be shown in between. ‘Indian people love intelligent meaningful cinema, sport, art and culture. We need to make Chess a part of it’ said the President before signing off. The proposal is still under consideration of the governing body of the BCCI.