Mumbai: There was a clear sense of purpose as the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) officials gathered at MCA, Mumbai on Sunday. The agenda was clear; the Indian cricket team must never again be subjected to a humiliating defeat like the one they suffered at the hands of England, when they lost the 4th Investec test series by an innings and 54 runs.
At the post-meeting press conference, BCCI officials outlined a 7 point agenda to rejuvenate Team India.
1. Any bowler who takes wickets against India will face match suspension equivalent to the number of wickets he has taken.
1a. Ten such offenses in the career of the bowler will lead to a life ban.
2. Any batsman who scores runs against India will be fined 10% of his match fee for every run scored.
2a. Ten such offenses in the career of the batsman will lead to life ban.
3. ICC batsmen rankings will be based upon least number of runs scored against India; the winner will be the batsman who scores least runs.
4. ICC bowler rankings will be based upon most runs conceded against India; the winner will be the bowler who takes least wickets.
5. Indian batsmen and bowlers will have access to Self Decision Review System (SDRS) while opposition batsmen and bowlers may be allowed access to Umpire Decision Review System (UDRS).
6. In case of any foreign cricketing team (club-level sides included) defeats Team India then that country will be ousted from International Cricket Council (ICC) with immediate effect.
6a. If Team India is defeated within three days then all nationals of the country to which the opposition team belonged, will be banned from playing cricket forever.
7. This point in the agenda is reserved for N. Srinivasan; it will be added when he takes over BCCI chairmanship.
Note – The agendas for ODI and T20 cricket are being worked upon.
BCCI officials declined to answer any questions however Faking News has learned from highly placed cricket enthusiasts associated with BCCI that in case some business entity is prepared to double the sponsorship deal for Team India then in that case, BCCI can introduce even stricter rules.