Tuesday, 20th February, 2018

Australian cricket team cancels India tour

19, Feb 2013 By Peace Lover

Australian women's team celebrating World Cup victory
Australian women’s team celebrating World Cup victory

Buoyed up by emphatic world cup win by their women’s side, the Oz have decided to call off the upcoming test series against India.

Cricket Australia has asked the players playing the warm-up matches in India to return back and instead play beach volleyball with the women’s team to celebrate.

Sensing the awaiting whitewash which is there just for the taking, the Oz have asked the BCCI to postpone the matches and thus give the team India a chance to prepare well. The entire war of words quickly snowballed into a broadside and incendiary remarks were exchanged.

Our special correspondent reports verbatim.

Oz: “Oz!! Oz!! Oz!! Aoye!! Aoye!! Aoye!!”

BCCI: “What do you want?”

Oz: “Man! Reschedule this test series. We wanna celebrate with girls. Will thrash you guys sometime later.”

BCCI: “Ooh!! Arrogance. Don’t forget SA beating you guys in your home.”

Oz: “So what. They had Steyn, Morkel and Philander and u have …………………?? Go find a couple of genuine pacers and then only we play. :P”

BCCI: “Thats not possible mama in this part of the world.”

Oz: “Ok!! Then play with our girls over there. If u manage to beat them then only we will visit and award u a whitewash.”

Sensing the situation would worsen suddenly out of the blue, the sardaar who is staging a comeback in this series thunders, “Have I made it large? Hell Yeah I am gonna make it large this time.”

When reminded that he was handpicked for this series and will be laid off afterwards, some sobriety returned to the boisterously laughing man and he speaks up, “U bunch of monkeys. I am ready to spin my way and eat some kangaroo curry. Our forte is SPIN. Will prepare rank turners for me specially.”

Oz: “Like u did against England. ROFLMAO…….”

Bhajji: “Oops!! But this is our territory. Don’t forget that”

Oz: “Every test series against you guys has gifted batsmen to this world. This time will also not be different.”

Bhajji: “Oops!!”

Oz: “And yes if Clarkie can score doubles here, be sure he can score triples there.”

 Sensing things may well go out of control, Srini mama takes over “Enough!! I am gonna put Aussies in No Bid category for the next IPL. What say?”

Oz: “Oops!! My bad!! Forget all and lets play as scheduled.”

On a sidenote, the Star Cricket has launched its ads brandishing the upcoming series as “Revenge Series” and taglines “kangarooun ki to baja di pungi”.

In return Dhoni has asked BCCI to revoke all contracts with Star Cricket and instead broadcast the matches on DD Sports and branded as “Repeat Series” so that a few Indians could watch the thrashing of the home side.

While BCCI went one step ahead and filed a defamatory lawsuit on Star Cricket whose executives were left dumb founded when they learnt that they were pressed with charges of raising the expectations from the national side to unrealistic and humanly impossible levels which often resulted in derogatory and insulting remarks headlining news media post series reports.

In a related development what experts are calling much needed shot in the arm, the sizzling beauty Poonam Pandey has played a masterstroke to enthuse Indian side. She commented, “Last time I said I would strip naked if India won the world cup and indeed they did but I could not fulfil because of our conservative societal norms. But this time I promise that if Aussies win the series I would start wearing clothes. That should get the boys on both the sides going.”