Srinagar: The army today issued a statement urging the Kashmiri youth to refrain from pelting stones at them and in turn throw equipments used in Olympic track and field events like Shot Putts, Javelins, Discus etc so that the Army and various national coaches in attendance can search for extraordinarily talented youths among them, who in turn can be trained to bring medals in Tokyo Olympics. India’s campaign in Rio was largely disappointing and calls for a complete revamp of the country’s sports structure are growing by the day.
We spoke to an Army officer stationed in Srinagar for more details, “All of us were a bit saddened after India’s campaign in the recently concluded Olympics, and wanted to ensure that India improved it’s medal tally in the next Olympics. We were aware of the superhuman throwing capacity of the Kashmiri Youths after having to endure their stones day in and day out. Once my brother who is a coach employed by Sports Authority of India (SAI) was visiting me and got to witness the youth’s skills when they were hammering our convoy. My brother later exclaimed that if given proper training, the youths can bring laurels to the country. For example the guy who was shoving very heavy boulders at us as he couldn’t find tools to break it into smaller stones has been selected for the national shot putt camp.”
The authorities are planning to put photos of Indian Jawans and the Indian map near the target distance so as to motivate the youth to throw the required distance. Like they will place the map of India on national record position and picture of Modi near world record position so as to effectively channel the youth motivation via hatred.
The youth were enthusiastic about the idea but insisted that they would take all the Indian facilities and money but would perform under the Pakistan flag.