Sunday, 18th March, 2018

An insight into David Moyes' rehab programme with Kabir Khan

07, May 2014 By ajinkya7

After 10 treacherous months on the sidelines of Old Trafford, David Moyes was finally sacked by Man United. Feeling dejected and ill-treated by the board members, staff and media, Moyesy took a  trip to Miami to get over his fiasco at the Theatre of Dreams. Reports have suggested that inspite of holidaying in Miami, Moyes was unable to get over his disastrous tenure at United.

Kabir Khan
Guru Kabir

Losing his reputation and his catastrophic fall from grace, David Moyes has resorted to Kabir Khan from Chak De! India! – The man who made a sensational comeback as a manager of Indian women’s hockey team after his tragic fall from grace as a player. David was hoping that this spell with Kabir will be fruitful and restore his parity in world football. Well things are actually going as per David’s plans!!!(Shocking.. difficult to believe his plans work) Here is a insight of David’s rehabilitation programme with Khano main Khan-Kabir Khan.

At the very first meeting between the two grim faced individuals, Kabir reprimanded Moyes for holidaying so long in Miami as he considered it as an escape route from media speculation. Rather, Kabir has sternly advised Moyes to visit Nizamuddin Dargah and start growing a beard. In his very first session, Kabir has confiscated all of David’s shaving material. More importantly, he has allowed Moyes to trim his facial hair just once in a year as Kabir is following the new generation beard sporting trend. These strict measures make Moyes not only eligible as a managerial candidate but now he can also attend the AXE pool party with a hairy look.

After the initial makeover in Moyes, Both these individuals predominantly discussed their tactical strategies with their respective teams. Our sources have informed that Kabir and David remarkably found great similarities and correlations with each other’s teams.

David always expressed his concerns and disappointments as he could never strike a partnership between Rooney and Van Persie. However, Kabir consoled him quite well citing the same issues with Komal Chautala and Preeti Sabarwal. Moreover, Van Persie had been a headache for Moyes with daily rumours spreading about his transfer back to Arsenal. Kabir also concurred this point by mentioning about Bindiya Naik and her on/off field antics.

Valencia, Young and Nani for Moyes were equally inefficient  as Nethra Reddy and Aliya Bose for Kabir. Moyes even found it difficult to deal with Vidic, finally the latter leaving for Inter. However, Kabir quickly spotted Balbir Kaur in his team and calmed David. Probably, It is always difficult to deal with Central Defenders… Well that’s what they concluded.

Rafael and Smalling for David summed up to be like Rani and Soimoi- The dynamic duo from Jharkhand for Kabir Khan’s women brigade. However, Moyes considered Rafael and Smalling as clueless and irrelevant like puzzled, bamboozled with lack of ideas and match awareness like Mumbai University engineers. The biggest satisfaction both these men got was through their goalkeepers. David mentioned De Gea was outstanding while Kabir acknowledged the fact that his captain Vidya Sharma was HOT!!!

After venting all his frustrations and apprehensions, David is now at ease, since Kabir has comforted him really well in his tough days.

As per our sources, at the end of this programme, David delivered a motivational speech to the Indian women’s hockey team. He is now ready to reclaim his managerial post at the Theatre of Dreams. With a new bearded and intense look, the dichotomy of his grim face  remains to be seen… rather anxiously awaited…. Brace yourself up Van Gaal/Giggs as well as Ed Woodward…!!!