Tuesday, 21st November, 2017

20 suggestions given by English team to make Test Matches interesting

01, Sep 2013 By funnybone123

Concerned with low crowd turn outs at test matches, ICC has asked England team to come up with some measures to bring back the crowd to stadiums. England team has chalked out a detail program  to make the 5 day version as interesting as T20 format at the same time. Some of the highlights of this program are :-

  1. Make the sport a contact sport by allowing players to have a go at each other, if they are in disagreement with each other. The duration allowed is only 5 mins. The number of times they can do will be limited to one per over.
  2. Cheer leaders should also participate in the brawl
  3. Apart from Drinks break, players should get Urine break. Players can relieve on the field. Please contact few key English players to learn the art of peeing on field.
  4. If you are loaded with liquids its ok to do a Monty (I don’t mean full Monty) on people (Players only please , also it will look good if the player getting peed on is clean shaven)
  5. Don’t walk when you think you are out demand for third umpire decisions if you disagree with the decision apply rule 1 above
  6.  Cheer leaders should be present for test matches.
  7. Streaking should be allowed to add flavor.
  8. There should be musical performances during lunch breaks/ end of day’s play by different artists/band on each day
  9.  Sledging will be allowed, however players are only allowed to sledge if they are speaking on microphone (People should be able to hear which adds to entertainment). Racial abuses are not allowed
  10. At 4 pm each day of test match 20-20 match will be played. This will allow more number of players to play for the country (as two different teams need to be selected) also more entertainment to fans (both at stadium and watching on TV).
  11. Movie stars from each country should promote the test match , they could be non-playing captains of the team .
  12. Movie stars who are fit and flaunt six pack should be part of the playing eleven however should  dare to show the six pack anytime bowler appeals and umpire turns down the decision
  13.  Heroines should be part of the playing eleven , minimum of two heroines is a must for every team
  14. The third umpire panel should consist of judges from reality shows.
  15. There should be MC creating ruckus for every run taken / or when batsman gets out
  16. Weather should not stop a match . D/L method should be abolished as there is no need
  17. In case team does not agree to umpires decision / third umpire panel , they can appeal to supreme court .
  18. If the match ends in tie ,winner will be decided by  pissing competition. Other countries are trying to hire pissing coaches from England
  19.  English players will be honoree fire captains. When you dial the fire station , there will be parallel ring in English players homes to douse the flames.
  20. Players should be allowed to bite the ball  apart from applying saliva to aid reverse swing.