Wednesday, 13th December, 2017

1.2 Bn people likely to sign ‘disownment contract’ after Maria fails to recognize Sachin

04, Jul 2014 By rahulv10

Major tennis sensation, a certain Maria is set to see a huge dip in her ‘likes’ and ‘followers’ as a result of her failing to identify God among the mortals. People from various walks of life are closely following the developments. Here is a brief account of a few reactions.

Betters – “After the elections, the industry was reeling under monotony of stagnancy”, said Betwa Singh adding that “The fresh controversy is set to revive the industry with people betting on the dip in the followers of the tennis star. Some people have gone to an extent of claiming the number to be as high as 1.2 Bn.” . He thanked the PM for “ache din”.

No more ‘liked’

Netizens – While on camera they claimed to have no knowledge of this tennis player, the photos liked by them on social platforms and their desktop photos told a different story. But that did not hold back netizes who cried in unison the public abandoning of the player. Game of thrones followers have already publically put this incident at par with Ed Stark’s brutal beheading.

Advertisers – Advertisers tell Faking news that many “Memory enhancement drug” producers and gadget makers for improving children memory are approaching them to seek the potential upswing in the sales of their products if they rope in Maria for their products. “The potential seems promising and we are doing our analysis carefully”

Consultants – They say “the problem statement is unique and we are devising a framework for solving this case.” At the moment they are busy contemplating if the framework should be a matrix or a circular one. “As soon as we come up with the killer page, we will publish a white paper full of learnings for others in the industry” said a consultant as an analyst was spotted looking for the “killer page”

Politicians – Supporters of Congress and AAP are now set to protest against this development , predicts as major news network in their prime time special “Major blow to the Modi”. One of the party workers told them that while the hike in rail fares could be absorbed with a few pills, this is clearly unacceptable and that the government should sever all ties with Russia. Some BJP workers also demanded a ban on Vodka.

While this is making rounds, we are also trying to figure out the last name of the concerned lady player so that we can join the bandwagon . We will keep you posted.