Friday, 21st July, 2017

Student answers Demonetization as solution to all questions asked in exam; Nitish-Supporter-Teacher awards zero marks

05, Jan 2017 By bhasadeswar

Ara, Bihar. Chhotelal Chaturvedi, a class ninth student of Kendriya Vidyalaya, has accused his mathematics teacher of politicizing the school examination. There were 12 problems in the mathematics quarterly exam question paper out of which 10 were to be solved. However, Chhotelal armed with the solution-to-all-problems answered all twelve questions in following manner:

The solution to all 12 problems is Demonetization.

However, Mr. Kumar, the maths teacher, appeared unaware of the universal truth and awarded zero mark to Chhotelal. A group of school teachers thinks that Chhotelal is being targeted by Mr. Kumar whose “religion” is to criticize PM Modi and politicize everything even education because he is a Nitish Kumar supporter.

"First Modi then his Demonetization and then you are sucking us!"
“First Modi then his Demonetization and then you are sucking us!”

Mr. Das, who teaches Economics, says, “When the entire nation has reached to a consensus that Demonetization is the solution to all problems; who are we to question the discretion of Algebra, Geometry and Statistics. Does mathematics not belong to India? Does it not owe anything to Aryabhatta for his zero-contribution? I strongly feel that like Economics; Mathematics is also ready to get solved by Demonetization.”

Mr. Tripathi, who teaches Statistics, says, “I have proof that Mathematics is with Modi Jee. Can’t you see the numbers? Pick any figure – be it Rabi crop or anything else – you will find that numbers are quite supportive to this scheme. Despite its factual nature; mathematics is ready to get manipulated. See how cooperative it has been to Arun Jaitely.”

Mr. Pathak, who teaches Physical Education and an RSS member, says, “I understand Mr. Kumar’s reluctance in acknowledging the contribution of demonetization as all the black money he has piled up through private tuition will now surface. As if we not know who is dumping those 25 paisa and 50 paisa coins in the school playground!”

Mr. Sinha, who teaches Physics, says, “This incident reminds me of Galileo. He sacrificed his life to teach a universal truth to the world.”

Mr. Tripathi, who teaches Sanskrit, says, “Chhotelal ek adarsh hindu ke dikhaye hue marg par prasasth hai. Ishwar uske saath hai.” He also recited a couplet from “Modi-Aarti” what he is presently working on:

Aarti Modi Gujrati Ki; Shri Chhappan Inch Chhati Ki

Gale mein Pakistani Mund Mala; Haath mein Black Money pe lagne wala Tala

Chhotelal says, “Pappa humko mana bhi kiye the ki beta kisko pata copy check karne wala kaun jaati ka hai kisko support kar raha hai; soch samajh kar jawab dena lekin hum soche ki Nitish Kumar bhi to support kar hi rahe hai na demonetization ko..to jo sach hai likh diye. Ara Jeela Ghar Ba ta kaun baat ke Darr Ba! Lekin Nitish Kumar apna stand change kar diye aur unke jaati wala sab apna chaal dikha diya…ee teacher Nitish ke caste ka hai aur Modi Jee ke Khilaf hai”.

Where BJP youth-wing ABVP has already approached Chhotelal to accept the State President position; Rahul Gandhi is all set to bring this up in the next parliament session.

Rahul Gandhi said, “Unlike Physics Mathematics is not my forte, however, I know this much that Modijee is keen to bring Mathematics to his side so that he can master caste-equation. But Modijee let me tell you that your state of mind cannot attain the required escape velocity to understand this multivariate analysis. Prashant Kishor is with us.”