Sunday, 18th March, 2018

Look! There is something poking at your nerve

29, Mar 2017 By azma sheikh

I am and will always be all in on every invention and evolution that happens to tools, machines and ideas which come out of the human brain. Why wouldn’t I? They help me reach otherwise unreachable corners. Be it of imagination, of a dirty room or even my back. Things keep getting easier and easier. But just when you are soaking in the blissfulness of these conveniences, you fail to notice two snakes perfectly camouflaged in the lushness, stealthily inching towards you- cloth tags and AC flaps!

Sucking out all the comfort of the human race
Sucking out all the comfort of the human race

Cloth tags are an absolute nuisance. They rip off the comfort of even the softest of clothes. They chain you up with a defiant itch. Your first thought would be to take off your shirt, grab a pair of scissors and cut the tags free. But too late! You’ve already arrived at the party and unless you are Salman Khan about to get into a very physical brawl, taking off your shirt would be a bad idea. But if you do remember to cut the tag before you get ready then good for you. But the downside is- you are still at a risk of either cutting a piece of cloth too and hence ruining the dress or of not cutting enough of the tag. In the second case, the tag will give you a more irritable itch because the smaller they are, the meaner they get. No matter how many years of tag cutting experience you’ve got, you can never get that perfect cut.

AC flaps cause no less bother. Their wicked self gets active in summertime. During such a time, if you find yourself in a room with people of higher authority, then you should completely forget about getting yourself some AC air because that’s not going to happen. Those people are going to stop the swinging of the flaps right over their faces and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to smile in sweat. If I had my say, I would ban flaps. What is the need to direct cool air to only one person at a time? How about giving every one an equal share of coolness all the while? The AC needs to grow out of its narrow minded discriminating habit. While I’m in this room with the AC directed only to the privileged, thinking about such reforms for the good of mankind, I reach out to ease an itch in my sweaty back and I encounter, once again, the cloth tag.

Mark my words fellow humans- if we don’t act fast, these two will unquestionably conspire for world domination.