Sunday, 19th November, 2017

UP Anti-Romeo Squad arrests 19 year old for being narcissistic

04, Apr 2017 By Tamaghna Mandal

Lucknow: The Anti-Romeo initiative launched by Yogi Adityanath’s UP Government added another achievement to it’s name when it arrested a 19 years old Varun Sharma, from outside Bara Imambara in Lucknow. The charges brought against the teen has been that of “Public Display of Affection for one’s own self” or narcissism in simpler terms.

"Now take selfies in jail"
“Now take selfies in jail”

We had reached out to Mr. Adolf Hitler, the present head of the Anti-Romeo Squad. He said, “Under Yogiji’s directions, any public display of affection whether to self or another individual even in private, is punishable by law. We like trained dogs can sniff out displays of affection from miles away. This incident was the classic cases of narseemonji-ism (he meant narcissism, his English not that great) and we had to make our arrest.” The arrested who goes by the FB username Starboy Sacha Varun Cohen has allegedly been uploading selfies of himself and his abs on Facebook, Twitter, Quora, Pornhub, etc for about 3 weeks now. One of the squad’s lead investigators came across his photo and after  using it for “research” purposes reported the photo to Mr. Hitler. SWAT teams were immediately mobilized and an arrest was made.

The arrested teen seems to be happy. Our undercover reporter inside Lucknow District Jail has recieved the following comments from Mr. Sharma – “I is a typical Sharmaji ka launda. It was in Class 8 that I realised that I luv myself. I see myself as a hurtbreaker and have rejected proposals from 69 gerls. I started my FB page in Class 10 and didn’t get much popularity. This arrest has made me an overnite superstar and my page likes has gone upto 4.2k within 24 hours. I would <3 to chat more but my fans are eagerly waiting for a status update. Do like, share and subscribe to my FB page and Youtube account.”