Monday, 23rd April, 2018

The all new WhatsApp after Facebook acquisition

24, Feb 2014 By Valay

We were not yet done making Satya Nadella, IIT and Manipal University jokes and Facebook bought WhatsApp as if Mark Zuckerberg’s WhatsApp subscription was over or something.

Now that WhatsApp has been acquired by Facebook, we don’t have a choice but to waste our precious time which we saved somewhere from WhatsApp, Facebook and Twitter by making jokes on WhatsApp-Facebook merging.

Yesterday night, WhatsApp was down and everyone was expecting some change to take place in WhatsApp. Here I am going to present some likely changes in WhatsApp.

Here, I present five likely changes in WhatsApp:

1) All new ‘kewl‘ status templates for WhatsApp:

Here are the likely default status templates which gives you one more chance to h8 ur lyf ol 2gether, if you don’t already.

ol new kewl templ8s!!11

2) New ‘Check in’ option, direction from WhatsApp:

Now, people will not have to log in to Facebook every time they go to CCD or Starbucks. Here, is how it will look.

3) All new ‘Poke’ option:

Another likely change can be a ‘Poke’ option for every contact. This option is very much Boys friendly and likely to be outraged by feminists because it’s designed specially with the propaganda that that  if a girl doesn’t reply you for so many days, you won’t need to say ‘Hi’ in order to let her know that you are still alive but you can just ‘Poke’ her.

‘Poke’ option for those who don’t reply you.

4) ‘Share’, ‘Like’ and ‘Comment’:

This feature is especially applicable for status of the people who you will be able to like, share and comment on. The next update of this update is likely to carry the same feature for the WhatsApp DPs. Also, there will be a filter like ‘Add Guitar to your photo’ and you won’t even need to sit with a guitar to mock yourself playing it.

5) ‘Laughing at this post with 3 others’:

Feature was coined by a colleague at FakingNews and this new feature is likely to break many relationships and also, a kind of lie detector. But, at the same time, you will be able to share your mood with people in your contact list who apparently don’t give a f**k about how you are feeling or doing. The layout will be something like this.

I am not Paul the Octopus, but these are the possible and likely changes I can see WhatsApp going through in nearer future. In case, if you have any idea about how WhatsApp should change accordingly, you are free to keep it to yourself, nobody gives a f**k about your ideas anyway, or you can mail us at

PS: All the screenshots by me are fictitious. Any resemblance to upcoming changes will be purely coincidental.