Monday, 19th March, 2018

Research Scholars panic as Govt. blocks "non-educational" websites

26, Feb 2014 By Lunatic509

The latest decision of the Govt. to block 39 websites has spread shock waves among many, the worst hit being the research scholars community. The government has given strict instructions to all educational institutes to block these and other “non-educational” websites from the internet service in campus.

Engineering students are fed up with this image.
Engineering students are fed up with this image.

Needless to say (yet I am saying) that researchers spend just a fraction of bandwidth on educational and informative websites like Facebook, Faking News, and occasional Jstor, while the lion’s share of their bandwidth is spent in searching you know what I mean. “The recent development will not only save time and energy of  research scholars but will also save a lot of taxpayer’s money in the Swiss banks,” said a Govt. official.

Blocking websites by filtering of keywords such as “sex” (and other un-publishable words) has inadvertently (?) blocked many academic websites as well.

Economics researchers are slammed a “Server Not Found” notice every time they click on any Sensex website, while English Literature researchers are banging their heads as Dickens and Shakespeare too are lost in the process.

While most students are too busy cursing each other with the aforementioned un-publishable words in the endless Rahul versus Modi debate, the students of Nefarious University have already taken a unique step by declaring an indefinite “No Bath Strike” against this move.

“If they can see it in assembly, why can’t we see in our university?” was an innocent question of a curious researcher who has also pledged neither to take bath nor to wait whole night for Tatkal ticket for his supervisor till matters are resolved.

The authorities maintain that researchers any ways do not take bathe nor shave for weeks together and thus the pseudo strike will bear no fruit. Sources reveal that some universities are also planning to block Facebook and YouTube as they too provide explicit content.

However, the thin silver lining is that there will no longer be any frantic need to “clear browsing history” each time a research scholar takes his laptop for PowerPoint presentation.