New Delhi: In a rather desperate act, Sanjay Gupta, a 24-year-old student, today decided to go for a sex change operation. Apparently, reports say that this is the first time in India when someone publicly announced about having this particular surgery in advance.
Sanjay talked freely to our reporter about the whole thing.
“Yes, I am going for a sex change operation, I’ve been through a lot and I want to move on in my life. Firstly, I want to clarify that I am not gay, bisexual, transgender, etc. nor I have any issues related to my manhood. This is just an attempt to improve my social life,” Sanjay told Faking News.
“I am a Facebook addict. I’ve joined the site about 3 years ago. Still, I am not getting as many likes on my posts as I want to. Though, in all these years I’ve learned that, girls always get more likes and comments in comparison to guys on Facebook,” Sanjay explained.
“It hurts when your DP gets only one like and that too from your own fake profile. Yes, I’ve created many fake profiles on Facebook to increase the number of likes on my posts, but somehow it’s unsatisfying. It is more like fantasizing about self while masturbating,” said Mr. Sanjay.
“I’ve tried almost everything to become famous on Facebook, but all my efforts went in vain. I keep tagging my friends in my own pictures, but they always ignore, some of them even blocked me for that. Maybe, no one likes getting tagged in my armpits or in my bollocks. I even chatted with fake girls on MTV Roadies’ Facebook page, but that too is no fun anymore. It is like paying 6$ per minute to talk romantic with a computer,” Sanjay said recollecting his thoughts.
“The story doesn’t end here; I even like every post of my friends which appears on my timeline, no matter how bad it is hoping that they would do the same to me. But Newton’s law screws me here too, every action has an equal and OPPOSITE reaction,” Sanjay went on to add.
“Not only my friends but my own family members who are on Facebook doesn’t give a
fuck like to my posts. I feel like the political candidate who gets less number of votes than the number of his family members and gets his bail forfeited,” Sanjay said emotionally.
“I’ve even liked every picture of God which has a caption saying; like this picture and get your wish fulfilled for free. But God seems to be too busy to check Facebook and help me out. I’ve helped the hungry children from South Africa by liking and sharing pictures relevant to them, still, the world is doing nothing to return my favors. Yet, I am in no mood to lose my hopes, if a loser like KRK can get 1 lac followers, then why not me,” Sanjay went on to add.
“I’ve planned everything; I will create a new profile as soon as I get this surgery done. I’ll put a picture of Katrina Kaif as my profile picture and will start posting plagiarized quotes about true love and true friendship. I am quite sure that it will get me thousands of followers in minutes and my life will be beautiful than ever,” Sanjay said cheerfully with a glimpse of hope in his eyes.
“I don’t have any money issues as my father is an electricity board clerk in Bhopal, MP. He can spend millions for my happiness. The only thing I am worried about is that I live in New Delhi and I am fearful about getting molested by a bunch of horny men. Still, I am super-excited about it. And I am dying to get comments like; Gud 1 sweaty, lukin gorgus, AWesOmE and thnx foh da tag hny,” Sanjay said in the end.
Our reporter, who was in a shock after this particular conversation, gave up his job earlier and went to Himalayas to know more about God’s existence or non-existence or whatever.