Friday, 22nd September, 2017

IT professional to replace his CV with Orkut profile

03, Jul 2014 By thepelicanclub

Bangalore. While rest of the world is revisiting (and crashing) Orkut servers in wake of upcoming shutdown on September 30th, an enterprising 26 year old IT professional has decided to transform his professional life leveraging Orkut.

Jagdeep Sahni, a Java professional with 4.3 (duration, not version) years of experience has been facing difficulties in landing a new job. He contends that nobody reads his CV even though he gets interview calls. In couple of interviews he found the panel saw his CV for the first time during the interview and realized his profile doesn’t match the opening resulting in panel cursing the HR yet again.

orkut
A sample CV

The closest he came to land on offer was when interview panel was overjoyed at his 4.3 year Java experience and brought 4 cups of coffee for him. Jagdeep considered it as stress test for his ability to put in long hours aided by coffee and readily finished four cups. Things started to unravel when panel asked him to describe and compare coffee in those four cups. Coffee connoisseur at Cafe Java was not what he had in mind.

Jagdeep finally decided to take feedback from his appraisals seriously where he was encouraged to be “proactive” in “taking ownership” and bring “out of the box” ideas to his work. Jagdeep tried growing and leveraging his professional network through Linkedin account but failed to achieve much apart from adding whole lot of “recruitment consultant” and college juniors who are looking for their first job. Efforts to score recommendations and endorsements proved futile.

This is when news of Orkut shutting down came as an epiphany. Remembering that he has 340+ fans and 20+ testimonials from his friends in college (let alone the friends he has lost touch with since then). He also scored 2.5 Smilies for being Trusty, 2.5 Ice Cubes for being Cool and 2 hearts for being Se*y. In fact his Orkut profile represents the best and most popular he has ever been or ever will be. Finally being “proactive” Jagdeep has decided to take this “out of the box” idea in to practice. Jagdeep has replaced his CV with his Orkut profile.

Friends say that he has seen significant increase in number of interview calls for Jagdeep. His personal life though remains pathetic. Comparing his Orkut photos with his latest Facebook photos, Jagdeep finally got the measure of amount of hair lost since college and number of inches added to the waistline. His female classmates who wrote such cozy testimonials on Orkut that he was envy of his male friends, are now busy posting honeymoon pics from Greece or baby pics from US with Jagdeep nowhere in sight.

Faking News wishes all the best to Jagdeep in his new initiative.