FBWhatsAppWorld: Facebook and WhatsApp chat servers went down intermittently during Diwali because of a software engineer.
Facebook has identified the culprit; Aniket Efbeewale (nickname Chandler Bing), a Pune based software engineer, sent infinite number of chat messages to his crush Janice during his Diwali vacation, as he couldn’t get enough time to chat during office hours. He saw this vacation as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to convert his 14th crush into love, but all his efforts went in vain because of the downtime.
A source from Facebook told us that their chat messages exceeded the lifetimes Candy Crush requests sent by Facebook (themselves). And when they saw Facebook messages not getting delivered, they switched to WhatsApp and brought WhatsApp servers down (Fb now own WhatsApp servers too). Initially Facebook thought this as an attack on their servers, but when they investigated further they found all messages to be genuine.
Meanwhile, there was very strong outrage on other social media sites such as Twitter, about Facebook and WhatsApp going down during vacation. Prime minister Narendra Modi has declared this as a national disaster and announced a grant of relief funds to Facebook to overcome this situation. Mr. Modi is specifically interested in Facebook because not only did he recently meet Facebook co-founder Zuckerberg but also because of Facebook’s contribution in winning him the Loksabha elections. We got a very strong reaction from AAP leader Arvind Kejriwal, saying, “Yehi toh fraud hai.. aam aadmi se text sms bhejwane ke liye Facebook aur Whatsapp chat down kiya hai. Yeh sab telecom companies ki mili-bhagat hai.” Arvind Kejriwal has also called a Dharna Andolan at Jantar Mantar against Facebook and Government of India.
However, people couldn’t restrain themselves from greeting their friends and families, so they physically met their friends and relatives, exchanging real gifts instead of Facebook smileys and emoticons. “This has certainly boosted the Indian economy,” quoted RBI Governor Raghuram Rajan who has convened a meeting to discuss its effect on the economy in the long run.
On the flip side, All India Single Community (AISC) has supported the software engineer. “Single launda karega bhi kya? Ladkiya sirf Facebook pe hi bhaav deti hai,” said an AISC spokesperson. The software engineer is thinking of purchasing an SMS pack, so that he won’t get into a glitch of downtimes. All big Telcos are competing for this lifetime opportunity, and have started offering him the best SMS rates. Even the CEO of DoCoMo is thinking of reconsidering their stakes in Tata Telecom. Facebook has already started taking preventive actions and Zuckerberg told us that they are going to stop chat services during night hours and vacations. Zuckerberg is also thinking of limiting per user chat messages to avoid such downtimes.
In spite of this, there is no progress in their love story and Aniket is very frustrated, as he couldn’t grab the opportunity.
On the good side of things, the software engineer could sleep well during his Diwali vacation, which he has been deprived of from the last 2 months. His fingers were so happy that they exclaimed loudly “Phew! Some relief!”
PS: Not inspired by any real life incident. All characters are fictitious and any resemblance is purely coincidental.