Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Working with 'Raul Baba' can kill you, study reveals

23, May 2015 By rsingh1792

New Delhi. Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, a study reveals. In fact, this dope – Raul – can kill you!

Stress is one of the major causes of heart attacks. And it has transpired that working with Raul on a daily basis is one of the deadliest forms of stress. Doctors were puzzled by the fact that 62% of his staff who had relatively few of the physical risk factors were much more prone to getting a heart attack than a 50 year old senile man. In fact, one of the employees had suffered a heart attack 12 hours after he had had an argument with this oaf!

Donkey
Donkeys do – “Dhain-chu Dhain-chu”. I do – “Main-Chu Main-Chu”

Another man, Pranab, said he collapsed right at his desk because Raul kept asking him for correction fluid – for his computer monitor. “You can cut back on smoking or improve your diet,” Dr Man Mohan says, “but it’s almost impossible to cope with such sheer and blatant stupidity. So, people just internalize their frustration until they finally explode!”

Madam Ji told us she is usually okay with her child’s “mistakes” but one day even she couldn’t control her frustration when Raul called her up and asked her the way to his office from the parking lot. She also told us that one day she had to be rushed to the hospital after Raul shredded her tax records instead of copying them. (She was later found thanking him for the same.)

Priyanka explains – “Many of the staff members feel sorry for Baba and end up fixing his mistakes. His steno spent an entire night rewriting his speech because Baba had put it in the ‘recycle bin’ of his computer and then emptied it – he thought it meant the speech would get recycled and could be used again.”

When Raul was asked if these accusations were true he said “Women empowerment! Women Empowerment! RTI! RTI!”. Raul then took out a ball from his desk and threw it outside the window where Digvijay, his pet dog, was seen sitting on his haunches with his tongue out. Seeing the ball, he jumped right up and caught it in his mouth.