New Delhi: Congress Party has directed the governments of Congress ruled states to ban the words ‘modify’ and ‘commodity’ and all associated words because they contain the name ‘Modi’ within. This directive came about after the matter was brought to the attention of Congress high command by none other a man of many words, Mr. Mani Shankar Aiyar. “It is a great discovery by our senior leader Mr. Aiyar. No one else could have found this out. This shows how intelligent and sharp our leaders are, even though temporarily out of power”, said an official communiqué of the Congress Party.
When approached by reporters Mr. Aiyar blurted out, “The English language is not the personal property of any individual, let alone Mr. Modi. Surreptitiously including ones name in English words smacks of arrogance and high handedness. This is nothing but saffronization of communication, culture and education. We cannot tolerate this. They have done this without our knowledge. We detest this. So, to begin with, we have asked Congress led governments to ban these unutterable words, remove them from all official correspondence and from text books.” Asked what will happen in other states, Mr. Aiyar said, “we can’t do much there. We will of course resort to protests and PILs to have these words banned there too. We will also get in touch with Websters, Oxford, Collins, Chambers, Cambridge, Merriam and other dictionaries and ask them to delist these words. We will tell them how dangerous it is for the English language if such a trend is not discouraged and nipped in the bud. Communalism has no place in communication.”
However, Congress allies were not too happy. A leader of one of the UPA member parties, with half a seat in Parliament, was critical of Congress. “How could they let this pass for so long? They should have found this out a year ago when Modi came to power. If they continue their lackadaisical attitude, we will have to rethink our support to them. As for Modi, he is so self-centred. This is total misuse of power. ”
Taking things one step further, Congress has appointed an expert committee headed by Mr. Aiyar to find suitable replacements to the banned words. Some of the members of the committee include Lalu Prasad Yadav, Karunanidhi, Mamata Banerjee and Mulayam Singh Yadav, all known for their command over the language. Meanwhile, Congress leader Digvijay Singh was seen discussing with other party members about how the words ‘rahul’ and ‘sonia’ can be included in daily communication.