Saturday, 24th February, 2018

With ban on ‘lal battis’, disgruntled VIPs to move around with ‘lal battis’ on their heads

22, Feb 2014 By Vaibhav Anand

New Delhi: Pissed off by the Supreme Court’s diktat that only high dignitaries and those holding constitutional posts could use ‘lal battis’ (red beacons), several P’s (persons) who had earlier been using lal battis with gay abandon have been forced to take drastic measures.

Adds to the pride.
Adds to the pride.

Faking News has discovered that since they were no longer allowed to place the lal battis on their cars, several of these people have started placing the beacon on their own heads or on other things such as pet dogs.

“I had a lal batti on my Alto car earlier,” Tadapit Kumar, a junior level Grade six bureaucrat and erstwhile gardener of Sheila Dikshit said. “It used to get me out of all kinds of sticky situations and trouble with the cops. Also I could as good as park my car in the middle of the road with the lal batti on, in all kinds of no-parking zones.”

“I still have the lal batti,” Tadapit Kumar said, “so I am going to keep using it. These days I go to office with the lal batti on my head and make the trenh-trenh sounds that the batti used to make myself. One of my colleagues has affixed the lal batti to his dog and another to his pet cow.”