In a rare turn out of events, the speaker Sumitra Mahajan and the Modi Government denied the leader of opposition post to Congress and unanimously decided to give it to Ms. Sushma Swaraj. The report has been confirmed by our reporter, Mr. Political Anna, 24 ghante 7 RCR ke saamne choknna. He reported the party spokesperson Mr. Javdekar saying, “It is the vision of Mr. Modi ji that we have taken this historic decision, Ms. Swaraj was very vocal in the previous two UPA government” He also hoped that at least Ms. Swaraj would throw some challenge to Modi ji Government which enjoys comfortable majority in the house and particularly in bad times when all the hopes on Rahul Gandhi has failed as he couldn’t even lead the opposition well and started playing in the well. Even Mr. Kharge can be easily taken by the less known Mps like Mr. Yogi Adityanath. So who will preserve democracy! Who will make sure to adjourn each debate sessions in the Loksabha? There needs to be someone to protect the democratic nature of parliament! Then, Modi ji came with this brilliant idea of putting Sushma Swaraj. After all, she has opposed him since he was appointed as the PM candidate of the party. She is just continuing her job, nothing else. Asked whether it can be possible and such provisions is there in the constitution to make a leader of ruling party,the LoP, Mr Ravishankar Prasad said, “If it won’t be in the constitution, we will amend it, after all the parliamentary supremacy is what we are here to protect.”
Our reporter later went to the congress party to take a sound bite which we will run the entire day in the news channels in debates. Mr Rahul Gandhi responded, “Up till now, there was only one person whose voice was heard through-out the country , now there will be two. There are only N-2 persons remaining in the country whose voices are yet to be heard where N is the number of people in the country.” He also assured that he will work for it, in a way we can not even imagine. “The second person whose voice will be heard is a woman, this is revolution and empowerment of women I was talking about.”, he was quoted saying. When asked if it isn’t awkward for him and his party that in spite of having 44 well qualified Mps, well; at least 43 well qualified Mps, they are borrowing the leader from the ruling party! He stared at the reporter for 9 and a half second and then replied “what if I ask you the same question, how will you respond?”.
The best of the cake was reserved for Ms. Swaraj who reportedly was very happy, for the first time since the BJP had declared Mr. Modi the PM candidate. She said “Now I am feeling, I am worth something, I can do a job. Up till now I was sidelined before the elections, I thought let the result come; I will get some important assignment as a part of plan-B, but that sadly never happened. I lobbied to get the top ministerial portfolio but in that too, I was disappointed to know that all I need to do is to shake hands with other Foreign Ministers of External Affairs. Some of them got so much height, I need to continuously look them into eyes and I got neck pain. This is the opportunity I was waiting for, I can oppose Modi ji on twitter and I can shout on him in the house too. I will get the same privileges a cabinet minister would get. What more can a person hope in life! ” She started dancing in her trademark style, so happy she was.
Our Chokanna Anna tried to get exclusive papers to find out who was behind this out of the box mind blowing idea. He found a latter written to Mr. Modi by some dark knight fan who signed in the latter with a bat symbol with a cross sign on the letters TDK. He is reportedly looking for a ministerial berth. Our reporter visited his secret workplace and found two dart circles with pictures of Ms. Sonia Gandhi and Mr. Arun Jetly. We tried to find out the original identity of the person who doesn’t like two big leaders of opposite parties. Who could that person be, the media wondered! Later, Vinod Mehta guessed taking a sip from a glass of whiskey in his hand that “He must be a maverick.”