Sunday, 18th March, 2018

US tobacco lobby hiring DK Gandhi after his statement on cigarettes

01, Apr 2015 By shridhar

New Delhi: DK Gandhi  heads a parliamentary committee that’s assessing a government proposal to dissuade smoking. He issued a statement “there is no local evidence to link cigarettes with cancer”. US tobacco lobby clearly seemed impressed by DK Gandhi’s hunger for evidence about tobacco and its ill effects. They issued a statement “We are looking for someone who defends on behalf of cigarettes and also be a role model to the youth. I think we found the guy we have been looking for a very long time.”

Our correspondent Kekdekar had a chat with the spokesperson of tobacco lobby Bill Smoker.

Kekdekar : Sir, looks like you guys are really impressed with DK Gandhi.

Bill Smoker : We are clearly impressed by DK Gandhi’s skills. Its really tough to go out there and deny that tobacco kills half a million people every year. Try keeping a straight face while saying “we need local evidence to prove cigarettes cause cancer”. See I cant do it. I chuckle everytime. This is why DK Gandhi is special.

Kekdekar : Are other lobbies also offering him a job?

Bill Smoker : Hiring talented people is tough. Obviously such a talented guy will get offers from other lobbies as well. I am sure we will clinch the deal and we might even prove in media that cigarettes cure cancer once he becomes our lobbyist.

Meanwhile, few congressmen defended this statement thinking it was from Rahul Gandhi because it was such a thought provoking one. Once they realized it was DK Gandhi and not Rahul they quickly backtracked.

I am off for a smoke because there is no local evidence to link it to cancer. Man! I chuckled again.