Friday, 24th March, 2017

UNESCO un-declares PM Modi as the best President

14, Nov 2016 By Siddharth Bhardwaj

In a surprising turn of events, UNESCO has announced that they have un-declared India’s Prime Minister, Narendra Modi, as the best President in the world. Sources have informed that this has been a result of frustration amongst the UNESCO employees after the ‘masterstroke’ demonetization of Rs. 500 and Rs. 1000 notes by the Indian Government.

All of this started on 11th November 2016, when UNESCO declared PM Modi as ‘best President in the world’ [Source], appreciating the boldness of the Prime Minister, and commending his foresight in managing the economy in the fight against black money.

Mr. John R. waiting in the long queue
Mr. John R. waiting in the long queue

The President of the council, Raju Johnson has explained in an exclusive interview with our team: “Black Money had created several problems on international level, the privileged population was able to afford better, more fuel efficient vehicles, which was leading to a decrease in the air pollution. We at UNESCO highly value things that give identity to different countries and communities, but because of black money, we were losing a very iconic phenomenon of India, the ‘best polluted air of New Delhi’, which we had declared as the best polluted air in the world. The action of Indian Government will hopefully help in preserving the polluted state of the air, something that hasn’t been done by any government in the world, so we decided to show our appreciation.”

However, the council has claimed recently that their judgment had been clouded by ‘spur-of-the-moment’, and ‘surge-of-emotions’ amongst other factors, and that it has taken them a few days to be on level with the reality.

“It seemed like one of the best moves in the world at that time (trumped by the U.S. Election results the next day). The ground breaking-ness of the decision had us completely moved, if someone had dared to cause such a major inconvenience to the majority of population in India, especially the under-privileged, they must’ve had some master plan in their minds, right? We were quite sure, and stand to this date on our declaration that ‘Jana Gana Mana’ is the best national anthem in the world, amongst our other declarations, but this one just seemed too hurried.” Raju J. expressed further.

The realization came when the UNESCO employees themselves had to stand in long queues for hours, but could not get their notes exchanged.

“We have international issues at stake here that cannot be delayed, how can we function and make further declarations if we have to stand in queues all day? And why isn’t anyone asking if this is even going to help? For all we know, sales of luxury cars are exponentially rising, and the air quality has already dropped from being like smoking 1 packet of cigarettes a day from 2.” informed the worried UNESCO partner, John Rajubeta.

The middle and lower classes of our country can be overlooked, but it seems the master-stroke has started affecting things on an international level.