Friday, 15th December, 2017

Unable to declare CM post win, Congress starts now with declaring CM candidate

19, Jul 2016 By Velawrites

Delhi: Congress has been shy of declaring a CM candidates before the elections earlier. This often helps in all communities voting for them and then a dark horse is provided with the CM cap, to everyone’s surprise. Not only CM same was the case with PM which they kept for last 10 years. when congress won elections in 2004 no one knew who would be the PM, till Sonia made Manmohan a wild card entry.

Only candidate, No CM post
Only candidate, No CM post

From unidentified sources we got to know about the reasons why Sheila Dixit was selected as a CM candidate in the high profile elections of UP. Also on the lines of Modi 2014 elections they have declared the tag lines for each reason to get the voters take notice of them.

1. Sonia Gandhi played the Bahu-Biwi card when she entered the politics and now she wants Mrs. Dixit to play the same card as she is the Bahu of bigwig UP politician.

Tagline: कुत्ते को आँख दिखाओ तो वो बोलता हैं भाऊ-भाऊ; उत्तर प्रदेश का विकास करेगी आपकी बहु बहु

2. Congress has not won anything in UP in earlier elections, they need someone who they can blame post losses. It has been getting difficult for them to find people they can blame after Rahul Gandhi is done with making mess of their entire election campaigns.

Tagline: जीते तो राहुल और सोनिआ, हारे तो शीला; रायता फ़ैलाने का हमारा नया तरीका

3. In distant history, Congress has not been able to declare a CM candidate post elections. Now even news channels are not interested in showing their news in the prime time. Even kejriwal has been able to garner more air time them congress. Considering this congress has come up with a master strategy where in they will keep making useless declarations. Like declaring Sheila their CM candidate fully knowing their fate is in a for toss in UP. Since they were able to get some prime time for this news has only increased their confidence. Its also been heard they will declare their entire UP ministry one by one to keep airing, starting with Deputy CM.

Tagline: जब असल से न बने तो नक़ल से काम चलालो; CM तो बनना नहीं अपना, CM उम्मीदवार घोषित कर डालो

4. Last time when Rahul campaigned for the party he forgot the names of candidate fighting elections on their party ticket. It is learnt that Rahul insisted on sheila to make it easy for him to remember the names. It is also learnt he is asking some of the candidates with difficult names to changes their names to the one’s he can easily remember. So this time you will see Chhota Bheem, Doremon etc. names in the candidates when you get out to vote.

Tagline: फिर निकलेगा राहुल congress की लुटिया डुबोने को; बोर्ड शतरंज का सजा हैं, रूल रहेंगे लूडो के.

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Dear readers, I forgot to write something for the (4). Let me know in the comments if you can suggest a good one.