Saturday, 18th November, 2017

To attract government grants, researcher proves Modi-wave not wave but particle

12, Dec 2013 By Baawra Chhora

Patna. Sanjay Jha was like any other graduate scholar keen to get his Ph.D after 8 year of research. He was somehow surviving on the petty govt scholarship at Babu BanarasiLal University, sporting a bermuda and age-old beard due to lack of razor in his Gillete mach3 (which he bought in excitement out of his first stipend), but not anymore.

While everyone was talking of Modi wave or No-wave, Jha decided to do something. He set-up a lab in Patna and in a matter of 3 days , proved that Modi-wave is not wave but a particle.

Sanjay Jha
A lookalike of the researcher

“I had long back read that all waves have particle nature, so I decided to find out how much of particle nature Modi-wave has, and as expected I found it was 100%. So I could prove Modi-wave was a big lie,” said an excited Jha.

While Jha had earlier written to all departments for grants but got no response, he is now playing akkad-bakkad-bambe-bo to choose the right one among hundreds of offer. As Jha is a student of transport engineering, this breakthrough has become all more surprising.

While MHRD has proposed that Sanjay Jha be given the Bharat Ratna, Kapil Sibbal has appointed him to set the coming year’s IIT-JEE, AIEEE and AIPMT question papers. Jha shall also be appointed as Dean of IISc Bangalore, where he was denied admission last year.

Jha shall be also given “honorary” NTSE scholarship, generally awarded to brightest students of class X. About 379 universities shall give Jha a “honorary doctorate” , which has brought down the number of fake universities in India by 379.

After a request to publish paper on Jha’s work was turned down by ‘Nature'(the world’s leading science journal), journal has been declared communal and non-inclusive by Nitish Kumar. He went on to ban sale of ‘nature’ in Bihar. Bihar government has also instructed other publishers to use the word ‘nature’ as less as possible.

Ramgopal Varma has offered to make a movie on life and struggle of Sanjay which was politely declined by him. Jha claims to be busy explaining the details of his work to Rahul Gandhi.Meanwhile Sonia Gandhi was found especially happy after this discovery as Rahul Gandhi would no more be waving hands at empty rallies in an attempt to counter Modi-wave.

Last heard , Jha’s latest assignment was proving 8 > 36 so that Congress could claim majority and form government in Delhi.