Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Sun takes all responsibility of crimes happening in Uttar Pradesh, Minister found most honest

17, Jun 2015 By Amitabh Suman

To what is now being seen as the most curious case of Sun-jamming butt-on, entire nation is now in the grip of the shocker that shadowed yester-noon. At one time when the nation was discussing and debating the pros and cons of a journalist being burnt alive for writing against the most innocent UP minister and another journalist being tied to a motor vehicle and dragged, this news has come down as the final dagger in hater’s coffin.

Allegedly the Sun, yes the Sun that our planet orbits around, has taken the moral responsibility of setting the reporter ablaze, moments after Akhilesh Yadav, UP CM vouched for the primitively and pre-historic inherent innocence of his Minister, who is heavily mistaken to be behind this mishap. The much respected CM was also heard patronizing his Minister as re-incarnation of Raja Harish Chandra, with all defect fixes from his past life.

Akhilesh Yadav
Akhilesh Yadav announcing that the real culprit was found and that his government was doing just fine

Citing the CM, our correspondent added that CM had received a courier via “Flipkart 1 day guaranteed delivery scheme”, which luckily contained a written acceptance of the Sun along with its trademark stones, describing the circumstances under which Sun had to set the reporter ablaze. The paper is supposed to be the Indian Postal Card and an Ink expert present there, out-rightly identified the Ink to be from Rotomac Pen.

Someone asked him about such inference, he said that when he read this letter from the Sun, the starting was “I would love to write that I take the moral responsibility of this Mishap…”

Converting the first sentence in Hindi, he could infer it to be Rotomac Pen “likhte likhte love ho jaye”. Some gentleman in name of Byomkesh Bakshi was so impressed by the Ink expert’s wit that he has claimed to have finally found the Great Grandfather of Detective James Bond.

Nonetheless, the Education Minister was also seen sharing his views on Sun’s acceptance of the mishap. He added, “Sun is ashamed of itself for delay in acceptance. He burnt the reporter as he falsely accused the Incarnation for rapes and crime. It has written its apology for not disclosing this early enough and letting the world doubt the Raja Harish Chandra’s re-incarnation, for reporter’s plight.”

After a pause, Revenue minister added, “The delay in letter delivery was due to bad management of Snapdeal guys. God, they charged Rs. 99 extra as well.”

Education Minister went on to say that Sun was so ashamed of its delay to claim the responsibility that it is going to weep whole Monsoon and hence, we are accepting good rainfall this year. When asked by a reported that Sun and weeping, how was it possible? He lurched back, “Where have you always received the rain from?” Reporter was snapped red-faced and had to leave the spot ashamed, immediately.

Identifying this as benchmark of Government’s innocence and righteousness, CM has claimed that his government has been chosen for Nobel Prize and ISO certification at Oscars this year.