Thursday, 23rd November, 2017

Summer too hot to handle even for the Modi Wave

12, Jun 2014 By albusdumblebore

The MET Department was left stumped as their predictions have not been Modi-fied. It decided to sue the Indian weather for its act of disobedience to the weather predictions.

“ModiWave” was the talk of the town. It was a new project started by the MET department in September 2013 and named after Modi, when he started his campaign. The project predicted that using its newly developed Data Analytic tool, named Ra-Ga (No, it’s not Rahul Gandhi but Radical and Grand), it was sure that this summer would be washed out thanks to the “Modi-wave”. They were positive that Modi could beat even the weather, with his victory and with Rajnikanth by his side.

The project comprised of 60 researchers, all of whom had passed 12th grade and were aware of the Indian summers. Strangely IIT-ians and IAS graduates were banned from participating in this assignment. According to some sources, they didn’t want to end up with 60 Chetan Bhagats or Arvind Kejriwals and convert this nationally important task into a bestseller book/a Bollywood blockbuster or another media frenzied roadshow.

“That’s why we roped in Smriti Irani and Rahul Gandhi. While she has the academic qualifications, he had the winning smile”, confirmed another source.

The model’s main aim was to predict the Indian seasonal pattern for the next decade. The group worked diligently watching a hundred “weather predicting” you tube videos. Strangely, some of those videos included the cheat codes for clearing the new levels in Super Mario. “Well Mario also had weather some tough times”, said one of the embarrassed members when questioned about this.

The Modiwave was closely followed by Sky India, India’s leading weather channel. In fact, they were even allowed to advertise legalized betting for the Indian audience to see which researcher would come out on tops using Ra-Ga. The odds, as usual, were heavily in favor of Sunny Leone, because most of the people either somehow mistook her name to be the season or watched all of her latest video of Baby Doll which garnered more view than the Indian Election Coverage. Surprisingly, Rahul Gandhi was close second. Journalists at Sky India suspect that it is because of the fact that he’s been distributing autographed copies of his smiling face.

However, Ra-Ga proved to be a debacle as Vadodara recorded a scorching 47 degrees and North India continued to reel under the sweltering heat. Smriti Irani has been vociferous in her views of backing “ModiWave” on Sky India. She was awarded with a plum parliamentary post after her regular outbursts in every media channel that invited her. Political big shots in BJP were blown away by her loyalty towards a failed model.

Internal sources now claim that the numerologist has confirmed that naming the tool “Ra-Ga” was the main cause of the failure of the model. While India continues to sweat it out busy blaming “Ra-Ga”, somewhere out there in a remote town up the Himalayas, known as Gopeshwar, Tinshan Dhikluk received a photocopy of the smiling politician and breaks a sweat in disquiet if someone out there is aware of his crush for the losing Congress Vice-President.