New Delhi. In the run up to the General Elections in India, an interesting case has come to surface. Although marketing executives of all the top companies have indicated off-the-record that this is completely a publicity stunt, but none of them have agreed to come out in the open fearing the loss of their chance of joining a particular political party said to be in the centre of all this drama. Our detailed research has been able to dig out the entire truth. In the following exclusive report, we tell the nation what the nation wants to know.
Inspired by the huge attention the Devyani episode has garnered, an emerging political party in India recently sent one of their party workers to the USA. The US Immigration Officers following the rules denied entry to the enthusiastic young man mentioning absence of proper documents. On questioning, he made abusive remarks against the US President claiming his face resembled that of a “secular” political leader in India, give or take a few hours of tanning, and some layers of fat. Immediately, he is known to have been taken for a strip search, where he happily took off all his clothes, as per the meticulous planning of the emerging party’s leader. According to un-trusted sources, the enthusiastic young man is now showing his enthusiasm in a local airport police locker on the charges of forced homosexuality against a US police officer. The officer could not be contacted for an interview.
Meanwhile back in India, the “secular” leader, on being asked by the violent TV reporters accompanied with violent cameramen about his resemblance to the US President, indifferently ruled out all such talks as rubbish and claimed it to be a conspiracy against him by Italian Mafia and their highly qualified yet astoundingly low IQ descendants. The official Prime spokesperson of this Mafia group chose to not comment against this allegation citing potential danger to his remaining few months of work if he spoke.
In the Indian Capital on the following Saturday morning, the same emerging party held important meetings with a majority of their stakeholders including auto-drivers and vegetable vendors at various places and collected their votes and opinion by different intelligently created means such as SMS, Emails, Letters to reach a conclusion as to what the official stance of India should be on such an important matter of international relations. Media covered these meetings extensively and ensured that this gets recorded in the history books of India as an important milestone towards creating closer relations and stronger ties between US and India.
Late Saturday night, reports came in of a fresh incident where eggs were thrown during a common-man meeting. The same marketing executives sincerely linked this incident to the Italian Mafia. The secular party however released a press note claiming the incident to have been started by some unsatisfied auto-drivers whose votes could not be submitted due to their mobile phones going out-of-balance and blamed the emerging party for their insensitivity towards the loss of eggs.