New Clean Delhi: PM Modi kick started the Clean India (Swachchh Bharat) Campaign today. The first day generated an overwhelming response from the people of the country who are enjoying a long period of holidays. People from all fractions of the society actively participated in the campaign by sitting on their couches and watching politicians and celebrities cleaning their homes on TV channels whole day long.
Many debates and meetings were organized all over the country to discuss the issue. People criticized the past governments for keeping the country filthy. Some even claimed that Pakistan is involved in keeping the streets of India dirty. They termed it as Cross Border Filthiness. Some even dared to pick brooms in hand and took selfies. They posted these photographs on Facebook and Twitter. It is pertinent to note that the government has announced various prizes to be won on the occasion. To win these prizes all you need to do is to take a selfie with a broom or near a dustbin (as close as possible).
Our correspondents visited different parts of the country and asked people what they expect from this cleaning drive.
“I am very hopeful that our country will be cleaner now. I particularly want see Salman Khan cleanning his 3 B’s,” said a jubilant and chirpy Delhi girl in her usual crisp tone. Later, we found that 3 B’s meant Body, Bathroom, and Bedroom.
A special appeal was also made to the youth of the country to clean their rooms. ISRO scientists have reported that most of the filth is created by the young generation.
“For the first time in my life I cleaned my room today. It feels really fresh. I will eagerly wait for this day next year when I will clean my room again,” AvikShit, a software engineer from Bengaluru, told our correspondent.
“As charity begins at home, cleanliness begins with our own body. So, I’ve decided to take bath today. Thanks to NaMo sir for giving me this opportunity,” Nirmal Jha, a fourth year BTech student from Varanashi, told our correspondent.
Many celebrities from all across the country cleaned their homes live on TV on this unique day. It was not surprising to find many controversial things in the garbage collected from their homes. We have an exclusive coverage of all the shit valuables collected from the dustbins of these stars.
“We are proud to present the garbage news to all the readers and we hope that our garbage would be better than so called news of other media houses who present such shit news all throughout the year. For instance, take any particular day’s Times of Idiot (TOI) newspaper, you will find such kind of thrash all over. If you want to dive deep into garbage yard, just like the Facebook page of India Tonight (a leading Indian magazine) and you will never be disappointed,” said our star Patrakar Paglaya Pandey.
Here, we present you detailed garbage information that we collected from dustbins of the famous politicians and celebrities.
- Rahul Baba: Milk bottles and nipples, Champak and Tinkle magazines, Bournvita bottles, ABCD for Beginners.
- Arvind Kejriwal: Lots of banners and posters, Empty Boroline tubes (mainly used for soothing face), B-Tex and Jalim Lotion tubes (Khujli cream).
- Rajdeep Sardesai: Pirated CDs of Video Editing Software, Book entitled ‘How to Provoke a Crowd’ written by Sardesai himself.
- Narendra Modi: Tea cups and Kettles, Star Wars DVD’s.
- Salman Khan: Prosthetic abs, Bracelets, Kundali of all leading heroines of Bollywood.
- Pritam: Music CDs of Korean, Pakistani, and Arabic songs. Many wigs were also found.
- Sonia Gandhi: Lots of DVDs of Italian movies and one particular Hindi movie DVD-Rajneeti.
- Anil Kapoor: Hair removing creams, old Hair trimmers, and a watch from 90’s.
- Ashish Nehra: A giant toothbrush.
- S Kalmadi: Cement bags, reinforcement rods, bricks, drums of Paints and many more civil engineering materials.
- Yo Yo Honey Singh: 4 bottles of Vodka, many books of English learning e.g. 60 Dino me Angrezi Sikhe, Amrikaan Inglishh titorial, duplicate Grammy Awards etc.
It was very courageous on the part of all these famous people to publically display their garbage.
We earnestly hope that our countrymen would clean every corner of the country and more importantly clean their conscience. Let us make it a special day in the calendar and celebrate it 365 days a year.