Tuesday, 22nd August, 2017

Sheila Dikshit gives up eating mangoes post election results

24, Dec 2013 By nikkow

It is almost two weeks since the Delhi election results were announced and our sources tell us that the same have had drastic consequences on Sheila Dikshit. The heaviest brunt of the heavy drubbing (sic) at the hands of the Aam Aadmi Party has been borne by the humble king of fruits – Mango.

Surprising it may seem, but the news is that Sheila ji has become extremely paranoid of Mangoes. If sources are to be believed, the same is attributed to the fact that the name of the fruit in Hindi is exactly the same as the first word of the name of AAP. The irony is that around two years back, a new mango variety cultivated by Tariq Mustafa from Uttar Pradesh was named “Sheila” and was on display at the 23rd edition of the Mango Festival at New Delhi. It really is remarkable how the fruit has lost favour with the ex CM within such a short duration.

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Aam

We have confirmed news that when one of her helpers who accidentally served her mango juice, ended up with a laterally inverted image of the election symbol of the Congress party, embedded on his left cheek. Herculean efforts by the Mango Traders Association of Delhi, to make her believe that the fruit mango has nothing to do with AAP, have ended in vain. They even tried to explain that during her regime “aam” prices have soared so much that it is no longer “aam” and can be renamed “khaas”, but all to no avail. Doctors have christened this form of hysteria as “Kejriwal Complex”.

The hysteria does not end here. An insider tell us that her coterie of servants has been given strict instructions to not utter anything even remotely related to AAP. These include addressing her as ‘tum” (in hindi) and not “aap”(in hindi) as the latter resembles the acronym of the Aam Aadmi Party. All “jhadus” have been replaced by vacuüm cleaners with immediate effect.  All mango pickles, juices etc have been trashed. Sheila ji even refused an invitation to attend the premier of Dhoom 3 as Katrina Kaif, who promotes a mango drink, is a part of the movie. A real estate broker on the condition of anonymity also confirmed that vast tracts of Mango orchards owned by Sheila ji are up for sale at throw away prices. We have also learnt that madam’s gardener has proactively weeded out all the lotuses from the pond located inside the bungalow after witnessing the fate of mangoes.

Meanwhile, mango traders and growers in Delhi are happy because they are expecting good sales in the coming season courtesy the resemblance. The aam aadmi however is praying that the advent of the Aam Aadmi Party helps keeps the prices of “aam” within their reach. Kejriwal ji are you listening ?