Friday, 28th July, 2017

Several PM aspirant Congress workers line up outside Sonia's residence for DNA sampling

17, Dec 2013 By shmisra

Congress is working very hard to locate ‘that’ candidate with the pure Nehruvian genes who can be fit for the Prime Ministerial position to lead India’s billion strong population.

In a press release today, Ms Sonia Gandhi declared that the Prime Ministerial candidate for Congress party will be announced at an opportune time. Soon after the announcement the exercise of identifying the Prime Ministerial candidate started within the Congress Circles.

“The Congress leader must have the royal Nehru blood” said Mr Chidambaram. “While having earned good education I cannot apply for the position since I do not come from the right royal race fit to lead the Congress Party,” he further added.

Through our internal sources we learnt that different Congress stalwarts Khursheed, Shinde, Manish Tiwari, Sibbal, Digvijay rushed to nearest grocery stores for their DNA sampling and presented their reports to Soniaji to match.

“I am very delighted,” said Digvijay, “After years of efforts my DNA started matching 2.003% with the royal Nehruvian dynasty.”

“We are here to get ourselves tested and if we have the Gandhi family DNA” said Manish Tiwari.

Hearing this, on Monday morning, millions of Congress workers lined up outside 10, Janpath, New Delhi when Congress was conducting a mass blood sampling to test DNA and find their new leader amongst the masses.

Congress workers line up outside Sonia's residence
Congress workers line up outside Sonia’s residence

“I told Mommy, I told Uncle, I told Aunty that I never saw such crowd even in my election speeches ,” said Rahulji when in the crèche when questioned.

“As I said , we will involve people like AAP in a way and to an extent that you would have never imagined, we are doing it now,” Rahul added.

Dr Salman Khursheed while taking blood samples said, “I would have definitely wanted to be the Prime Minister if I had this right DNA strand in me, but Alas ! ” pointing to the diagram of the DNA strand on the wall.

“We have performed DNA testing of over 20 Lac Congress workers and PM aspirants today but did not find that typical pure Nehruvian DNA strand we are looking for” said Dr Chidambalam who was coordinating at the blood sampling camps.  “Well we did find one Mr Varun Gandhi from Pilibhit who had the DNA match but closer examinations by Vadra Hospital revealed that the DNA had been mutated by the Bi Junction prolapsus Virus (BJP Virus) and had to be rejected.”

The country is in shock and awe and looking for their next leader holding its breath.

“We will have to keep the PM position vacant if we do not find a candidate from the Nehru family to lead the country,” said Mr Sibbal . Confirmed sources reveal that Digvijay Singh from the party is deputed to travel to London and meet Young Henry Mountbatten for further discussion in this regard and for any further leads.