Monday, 26th February, 2018

Scientists discover virus responsible for anti NaMo social network fever

13, Mar 2014 By abhi1210

New Delhi: Scientists have discovered a new type of viral disease and they have decided to name it Namo-nemia.

A person suffering from this disease starts behaving in a strange obsessive manner without even thinking about his daily natural needs. The virus mainly effects the brain and takes control of mind and body and the body tends to become a social network zombie. However this disease can’t spread by biting like shown in Hollywood movies.

“Holy Bhagwan”

One of the scientist working at BAAP Labs told our reporter on the condition of anonymity that “Patient will start searching all bad things about Narendra Modi available on the internet, it doesn’t matter whether its true, false, factually incorrect or 100 year old . Then he will post it on his Facebook, Twitter and all other social  media available at his dispense at a tremendous average rate of  1-2 posts per minute. He can’t sleep eat or drink till he write, abuse or say something bad about him” .

He further explained that “This disease may be closely related to Jhaadu or broom, as we found during our investigation all the patients have a collection of different kinds of Jhaadus at their house”.

One of the patient Pappu (name changed on request), going through treatment at All India Institute of Mental Sciences (AIIMS, Patna ) told PTI that, “I can’t rest till I write something about NaMo ji, I don’t hate him but this virus is making me do all this. I can’t work, can’t eat, even can’t sleep. One day I was feeling pretty filled after heavy dinner but all of a sudden my WiFi got disconnected, I first connected my internet and shared few Cobrapost articles about NaMo ji and then only relieved myself. Mental relief is more important to me than physical relief”, he said while sharing a Karan Thapar interview of Narendra Modi on his Facebook page.

We asked about any permanent treatments to this pandemic. The scientists responded by saying  “Research on NAMO wave is going on and we have full confidence that we can treat patients using NAMO wave radiation method. Meanwhile people can be treated temporarily by giving high dose of  medicine called Think-o-mycin, this will relax their brain by improving the blood circulation, however this can be ineffective to patients already at a higher stage of infection.”

Famous astrologer Jaandar Daaruwala said “I predict that this virus is a temporary phenomena which will spread to a full extent on first week of may and then suddenly all the patients will get treated by themselves on 16th May 2014”.