Sunday, 25th June, 2017

"Sardar Patel would have endorsed ban on opinion polls" - Ram Guha

05, Nov 2013 By jubbaonjeans

Bangalore: In a shocking revelation, Ram Guha,  a celebrated historian from Bangalore, released the below statement:

“Sardar Patel would have supported a ban on opinion polls. Some people have accused that my conclusion is unscientific, I would like to remind them  that this conclusion was based on a highly scientific survey of various historians, congress spokespersons and Nitish Kumar.”

As expected, there was a furor over this statement on Twitter. Noted Modi supporter @Modi4PMofBharat tweeted “HAHAHA #pappu has gone mad. He is now getting 3rd grade historians to make statements”. Reports suggested that the historian is furious over the tweet and has requested an urgent meeting Kapil Sibal and the CEO of Twitter.

Dr. Subraminian Swamy has decided to file a PIL in the supreme court against the historian. Dr. Swamy believes the opinion of the historian is influenced by foreign powers. He is confident that the historian will spend a few years behind the bar. Leader of opposition in Rajya Sabha, Mr. Arun Jaitley wrote about the incident in his daily column in Niti Central. As usual the article made no sense, but seemed intelligent as it consisted of phrases like “fundamental rights, “article 19” and “US constitution”.

On her show, noted journalist Barkha Dutt held a panel discussion on this issue. The experts included the grand nephew of Sardar Patel, second cousin of the historian, Jayanti Natrajan from the Congress, Renuka Choudhary of the BJP, two random AAP volunteers, Derek O Brein from Trinamool Congress and Imran Khan, who had no idea why he was invited.

Later that evening, in a dramatic twist, LK Advani wrote a strongly worded letter to party president Rajnath Singh and threatened to resign from all party posts unless the BJP forces the historian to retract his comments. Mr. Singh was not available for comment as he was busy preparing for a midnight Havan to ward off evil spirits at his residence.

At this point, the reporter was really tired and did not follow up on the events any more. Two days later, LK Advani was still in the BJP, Mr. Jaitley wrote another article in Niti Central and NDTV was live-tweeting Modi’s speech from Kodaikanal.