Friday, 20th April, 2018

Roadies aspirant admits attacking Raghu in Varanasi; wanted to do something crazy

10, May 2014 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

Varanasi: Varanasi police has arrested a youth who has admitted to attacking Raghu during AAP roadshow on 9th May.

The attacker named Ashutosh is trying to become a roadie since last 5 years but has failed. The SP of Varanasi Chulbul Pandey informed, “Initially when Kejriwal Sahib tweeted about attack on Gul madam and Raghu, we though that it’s the AAP people again. But I know that BHU boys will never spare anybody who dares touch Gul madam. Raghu ki pitayi hona koi badi news nahi hai. Peeche se Anupam Kher jaisa dikhta hai, shayad Gul Madam ne hi jama diye honge, Kirron ji ki bhadas nikalne ke liye. Later when Gul madam tweeted that she is safe, we decided to leave the matter. Lekin tabhi hamare constable is launde ko marte huye thaane le aaye. Humne poocha to bole ki ye ajeeb si harkatein kar raha tha is liye dhar liya”.

Raghu Roadies
“That was a crazy act”

Shaitaan Khopdi™ talked to the youth named ‘Ashutosh’ on why he attacked Raghu.

Ashutosh: I am trying to become Roadie since last 5 years. I go to audition every year. But this taklu **beep**beep** rejects me every year on some pretext or other. During my first audition 5 years back he asked me ‘Tell me something really crazy you have done in your life’.

When I told him that I skipped my IIT exam to attend roadies audition, he started shouting at me, ‘Tumhare maa baap ne itna paisa kharch karke tujhe IIT ki coaching padhayi aur tu vo sab waste karne yaha aa gaya? Nikal yaha se….’. Just then I decided that I will do something really crazy to convince Raghu that I am a Roadie material. I started chasing crazy things. I heard that media is going crazy in Varanasi so I landed here.

Somebody told me that a road show is happening in BHU. When I saw Raghu, I confused Road show with Roadie audition and asked for enrollment form. I soon realized that questions like ‘Why do you want to be a Roadie’ and ‘What is the most crazy thing you have ever done’ were replaced by ‘Why do you want to be an AAPian’ and ‘What is the most Krantikari thing you have ever done’.

Before I could understand anything they thrust an AAP cap on my head and gave me a ‘Jhaadu’. Initially I thought it might be a immunity task so I started cleaning roads with broom. Suddenly Raghu came, snatched the broom and started shouting as if I have insulted the broom. Mujhe bhi gussa aa gaya.. utha ke do dhar diye wahin pe. Now even Raghu has to admit that it was crazy and select me as a Roadie, said Ashutosh dressed in leather jacket and gloves under 42 degree heat in Varanasi.