In a speech that brings a ray of hope for thousands of Congress workers and in-waiting corrupt ministers, Rahul Gandhi, yet again for umpteenth number of time, predicted UPA’s victory in 2014 elections.
While there was no factual argument and analysis behind this grand hypothesis (a typical Rahul Gandhi style) , our highly placed sources reveal that Rahul Baba happened to watch Chennai Express on Thursday after which his “State of Mind” has changed to one of victory.
“Victory is just a state of mind. It does not mean scarcity of power, ownership or accountability. If one possesses enough
black money and fooling around tricks … ohh I mean self-confidence, then one can overcome elections and be victorious,” pointed the Nehru Gandhi scion.
Within minutes, the entire band of Congress
sycophants top brass, led by Sh. Digvijay Singh, started appearing on national television and supported their beloved Rahul Baba.
“If Chennai Express can gross 60 crs on its opening day, why can’t Congress win 500 seats in the 2014 elections?” asked Sh. Kapil Sibbal.
“The success of Chennai Express proves that people of this great nation favor idiocy and mindless things. And who can be more idiot and dumb than Rahul Baba. Hence we are confident about Congress being voted back to power in 2014 with Rahul Baba as the Prime Minister,” exclaimed the waiting-in “Minister of Entertainment” in the waiting-in “Ministry of Idiocy”, Government of India.
“………………” were the only words we could hear from PMO’s office.
“People of India want to be entertained with the same stuff repeated over and over, as proved by the success of this movie. Just like Chennai Express is nothing but a stupid blend of different SRK movies, we promise to repeat our past entertainment tactics (the scams, controversial statement, policy paralysis etc. etc .etc.) once we are voted back to power. However, the scale would be much larger and grander (just like Chennai Express) so that news channels could find even more meat to brag upon, and hence entertain the nation ” said another Congress leader and member of Cabinet.
While Arnab Goswami was not available for comments, it is reported that he is extremely delighted with this new development. In fact, there is a rumor that he would urge the Congress Party to divulge further details on tonight’s NewsHour, since the “Nation wants to know more about the topic.”