Monday, 19th February, 2018

"Rahul Milk" being downplayed due to internal protests in Congress

12, Mar 2014 By none

After “NaMo Chai” (Modi Tea), Congress was swift to come out with “Rahul Milk” idea.

Beni Prasad Verma, a popular leader of Congress, had made a point BJP was misleading people to drink up tea, which is believed to be unhealthier than milk. The idea of combining milk with Rahul Gandhi was nothing short of a genius – or almost genius.

Rahul Gandhi
Rahul Gandhi

Rahul lovers (except in Assam where “I love Rahul” may mean dangerous for ladies) were very happy and looking forward to Rahul Milk because first time something useful was being associated by their beloved lover. Milk lovers, who outnumber Rahul lovers were enthralled by the hope that at least a cup of milk will be available from Congress.

To much dismay, like many other announcements from UPA-II, the milk never arrived. This has left the whole country guessing about possible reasons.

The prime suspect was of course Mr. Lalu Prasad Yadav, who could have starved buffaloes by eating up all the fodder. However, soon (appropriately labelled) pictures of SP leader Azam Khan and buffaloes started emerging. This absolved Lalu.

The secret opened up from the headquarters of Congress in New Delhi.

“We wrote off imaginations of weak minds that ‘Rahul Milk’ will associate Mr. Rahul Gandhi with doodh peetaa bachchaa. However, we had to consider views from other stake holders like state of Assam” stated Manish Tiwari, another senior Congress leader.

When asked to elaborate about why Assam should have problems in ‘Rahul Milk’, Mr. Tiwari replied: “You know, it (protest) wasn’t only from Assam. Our Bengal, especially Darjeeling, and Tamil Nadu, especially Nilgiri, representatives were also unhappy with Mr. Verma’s stand. There was nothing wrong with the milk per se. However, calling tea unhealthy could turn a lot of our traditional voter base off” he added coyly.

With the mystery solved, the search for a substitute drink remains open. Coffee is with Karan. Opiate is with religious parties. Liquor is with Mallyas. The only solution, albeit costly, seems to be warm cocoa from Columbia (or Spain if you like). The party is inviting suggestions.