Friday, 23rd February, 2018

Rahul Gandhi's job interview

01, May 2014 By feku

Disclaimer: The characters aren’t at all fictional, and any resemblance of the characters or their views with any real person is a desperate attempt to make them look so.

[Characters: AaGo , an optimistic interviewer and BaBa , an over excited candidate.]

AaGo [With a genuinely fake smile]: Welcome BaBa, it’s great to have you for our job interview today. BaBa, before starting actual interview, one doubt- we asked you to write few programs in the first round, you have just written some unreadable pseudo code for most of them, are you afraid of writing an actual code?

BaBa [Pointing the hand towards himself]: To understand that question you have to understand a little bit about who BaBa is and what BaBa’s circumstances have been and if you delve into that you will get an answer to the question of what BaBa is scared of and what he is not scared of. The real question is how I got shortlisted and what I am doing sitting here.

AaGo : Ok, never mind. BaBa, which language would you prefer to write your code?

BaBa: I will answer the question and that will give you some insight into how BaBa thinks. I see a problem, and I see a solution, I don’t see anything else and I am blind to everything else. I am blind because a single language is unfair to our people. BaBa is very flexible and secular, so he doesn’t select any language over other. What we need today is polymorphism, what BaBa wants to do, is to use inheritance in each and every aspect of your code, and empower the objects.

AaGo: Alright, going to the first question, we asked you to correct this code, int * correctMe() { int array[10]; //some logic return array; } You have written, “Code looks tricky but flawless. Good job ! ” BaBa, don’t you worry about the memory corruption?

BaBa [Striking index finger on forehead]: Memory corruption is a state of mind, if you have confidence, you will overcome it. But that’s not the problem, today what BaBa wants to talk about is polymorphism, object empowerment.

AaGo: No I won’t ask you that. Next question was , Finding an element in a sorted array. Can you write a code for t?

BaBa [with mocking smile]: Let me ask YOU the same question, can you do it?

AaGo: Are you asking me a question?

BaBa [Relaxing back on chair,folding hands]: Yes, it’s a conversation.

AaGo: Ok, yes, I can, and I would tell you a simple answer for it, then could you at least try to optimize it?

BaBa: What is optimization? BaBa thinks, optimization is just a publicity stunt created to divert people from actual features like polymorphi…

AaGo [Cutting BaBa] : Ok, Next question in your answer sheet was about a recursion algorithm, to which you have just written, “To understand recursion you must understand recursion..” and a big smiley face. BaBa, do you really understand recursion? What do you think about recursion…is it good or bad?

BaBa: Good..bad..recursion..iteration…all are same…real thing is polymor…

AaGo: BaBa, I am really stunned and don’t have any more questions at this point, thank you very much. It’s been a pleasure talking to you. Do you have any question for me?

BaBa [asking curiously]: Oh, Is it over yet? So … how was I…was I exceptional?

AaGo[Confronting tone]: BaBa, let me tell you frankly, from first question itself I realized, you didn’t know any answers, you weren’t specific answering any of those. You had absolutely no idea what so ever you were talking about and somehow you manage to talk irrelevantly on the unknown topics for so long….

[after a pause] BaBa, you are special, and you have exhibited all the qualities that we are looking for in a special role… Welcome on board BaBa, our “Customer Support team” is waiting for you.

[Balloons start flying in the room, other candidates cheer outside, crackers bursts outside the room…and Baba grins as if he is eating a banana holding it horizontally in ultra slow motion, reclines on the chair even further and start imagining about his dream job].