Wednesday, 21st March, 2018

Rahul Gandhi to setup chai-ki-dukaan to understand his enemy

26, Dec 2013 By pairated

The man of many vivid talents, the orator with no audience, the leader of politically misguided youth of India, the youngest torch-bearer of the oldest political party in the country, the wildly imaginative day-dreamer, the secular philosopher, national cutie Rahul Gandhi has had an epiphany on Christmas eve. He is now set to break all the norms and be a normal, underpaid chaiwaala to understand his bitter enemy.

It’s cool to be a chaiwallah.

The charming prince, who is known for stealing hearts and credits with his cheeky dimples, is currently on Christmas holiday. This holiday comes with lot more celebration, after forming a successful coalition in Delhi by providing unconditional support to AAP, the conditions of which are still unknown. He was celebrating the spirit of holidays with his family and lavish friends, when they decided to watch a movie after a hefty lunch. The movie of the day was “The Dark Knight Rises”, starring Christian Bale as Batman/Bruce Wane and Tom Hardy as Bane, the mercenary.

During the plot of the movie, when Bruce prepares to get out of an inescapable well, Rahul was hit with the idea of a lifetime. His family and friends were shocked to see Rahul standing up slowly and dramatically turning his head towards the gold-plated ceiling. A feeble chant was coming out of the speakers in the mini-theatre. As Rahul stared at a point which was far beyond the gold-plated ceiling, he murmured some words. The chant “deshi basara, deshi basara”, which translates to “rise up”, grew louder. Even the friends and family members started chanting and screaming “desi basara”, while Rahul raised his arms towards the ceiling and closed his eyes in slow motion.

The events that followed stunned everyone. Rahul quickly dialled his PA to take notes of his deep thoughts, while he spoke in a rough, low-pitched, scratchy voice. His exact words were, “I am not the leader that India deserves, but the leader India needs right now. Being the white knight of India, shining, I have to understand my enemy by being him. I have to cross the hurdles that he has. I have to serve the people that he serves. I have to work like he works. Even though failure is just a state of mind, I fear defeat. I fear losing to him, while my country is suffering in hunger and corruption. I fear losing to him, in the name of development. I fear losing to him, while my family suffers a great loss.”

All those were present there cheered for Rahul by clapping, thumping the seats and beating their chests (that would be his brother-in-law only). His mother and sister silently wiped off their tears, the tears of joy and satisfaction.

The fair-complexioned, white kurta clad, self-proclaimed white knight, immediately arranged for an advisor, a security counsel and a legal expert to help set up a tea stall in one of the poorest parts (middle-class societies for layman) of Delhi. He has asked his cook/butler to teach him to prepare kaDak-chai over the next 2 months. The tentative name for the stall is, “Rajiv Gandhi Tea Stall” and the underlying caption would be “Hamara haath, AAP ke saath!”. The exact location and Rahul’s costumes are yet to be decided by the party.