Monday, 19th March, 2018

Rahul Gandhi promises empowerment of Indian bowlers if elected

20, Feb 2014 By Alok Sharma

New Delhi. With the political campaign effectively in turmoil and the chances of securing a win in the upcoming Lok Sabha elections hovering between zero and zero, Congress’ poster bwoy is leaving no stone unturned in the run up to the decisive votes.

Mission empowerment
Mission empowerment

In a recent rally in the suburbs of someplace-not-on-the-map, addressing to a crowd of 44, Rahul Gandhi promised that the Indian bowlers will be “uplifted from the current disastrous state of embarrassing failures and off the charts economy rates.” He emphasized on the need for empowerment and how it will help the country progress to a better growing nation.

He mentioned that his party has been working tirelessly since the birth of the country towards the upliftment of bowling. He stressed on the need for youth empowerment in the bowling department and that India needs young 40-year old youngsters in the team. He also promised that an RTI bill will be passed that will ensure transparency in the selection process, albeit in conjunction with the BCCI.

When reminded that batting collapses have also been a major reason for the team’s failure, he explained what Rahul Gandhi thinks of the national team. “Vishy anand has been the best bowler in the side for a long time. His left arm swing has been highly effective on foreign soils. And we need more youngsters like Yuki Devvarman who can stay on the pitch and score at the same time.”

His address ended with him backing his party’s governance over the past decade and that Manmohan Singh is the best skipper any team has had within their ranks.

[This reporter has suffered partial paralysis after attempting suicide half a dozen times following this rally.]