New Delhi: Today afternoon, in another shocking news, Congress’ newly appointed Vice President and India’s one and only youth icon Rahul Gandhi lost to Peter Griffin (from Family Guy) in an IQ test competition.
“It was a close contest, that guy has balls on his face, which distracted me and made me lose the game. Yet, I’ve learned a lot from this just like I did in UP elections and after that in Gujarat elections. I will be careful from now on,” Rahul told Faking News after the game.
On the other hand Peter Griffin didn’t seem excited even after winning the contest. “Beating Rahul Gandhi in an IQ test is like beating Muttiah Muralidharan in a fairness contest,” Peter made a racist comment with a sigh. Later he requested us to not to create any fuss over his comment.
Somehow our reporter managed to record some of the questions asked in the test, apparently the judges asked for some definitions of few particular words, here is how Rahul Gandhi lost the game:
Q: Definition of Refrigerator? Rahul: An electric cupboard with a light in it. Peter: Something always empty when you open it and always full when your unwanted guest does.
Q: Stapler? Rahul: Something we throw on our opposition leaders in the parliament. Peter: A device which always runs out of staple pins exactly when you need it the most.
Q: Salesman? Rahul: A guy who always gets laid in porn movies. Peter: A pleasant rapist, someone who can convince his wife that shopping can make her look fat.
Q: Calculator? Rahul: Telephone’s look alike. Peter: A gadget which confirms that you suck at math.
Q: Brain? Rahul: Something I don’t have. Peter: Something my opponent doesn’t have.
Q: Calendar? Rahul: Photo collection of hot women. Peter: Your milkman’s account book.
Q: Traffic policemen? Rahul: Whistle-blowers. Peter: Only people who whistle on ladies and get paid afterwards.
Q: Cultural activity? Rahul: Another platform to make a stupid statement. Peter: A hotel room with no TV.
Q: LOLz? Rahul: People’s reaction after every serious statement of mine. Peter: A lame joke cracked by your boss.
Q: Sex? Rahul: What comes between five and seven. Peter: What comes between 10:15 to 10:20.
Q: Committee? Rahul: Something to fool people out. Peter: A bunch of people doing everything except what they suppose to do.
Q: Sober people? Rahul: After the hangover is gone. Peter: Those who talk stupid without having alcohol.
And the last question was:
Q: Surname? Rahul: The key to success. Peter: Something all the superheroes avoid and all the super-idiots use as a key to success.
But Rahul Jee is still optimistic about his future. “My mom has promised me that in the next test she will call Rehman Malik to play against him,” Rahul told Faking News proudly.
Meanwhile Chidamabaram said that Rahul Jee should not worry about it, taking part in an IQ test itself is a morale victory for him.