Friday, 24th November, 2017

Rahul Gandhi appoints Ankit Fadia as personal mentor to groom him for 2014

13, Sep 2013 By nayabhidu

New Delhi: In a stunning masterstroke, Rahul Gandhi, the prince of India, has appointed globally renowned cyber and technology expert Ankit Fadia as his personal mentor. Fadia has been entrusted the responsibility to make Rahul Gandhi a brand in politics similar to what he himself is in technology.

“This is a masterpiece decision by the future PM of India,” Congress General Secretary Digvijay Singh exclaimed in joy. The veteran young man was the personal mentor of the prince before this. “Even I could not have come up with such a step. Indeed Rahulji Gandhiji is to politics what Ankitji Fadiaji is to technology.”

Rahul Gandhi
Gandhi scion thinking when will India take him seriously.

Meanwhile, Ankit loved this statement and tweeted  that if Singh could come up with more such brilliant statements, he will include them in his 250th book that will be titled ‘How to Open an Email Account’, a very complex technological problem.

Even BJP was perplexed with this step and worried by the turn of events, went into a huddle. Narendra Modi’s social media team disconnected from the Internet and de-activated all their accounts to avoid getting  ‘What The Hack’ed into their accounts by Fadia. They even deactivated their mobile phone connections as they found that Fadia rhymes with Radia.

When asked by this reporter about the plans he has for Rahul Gandhi, Fadia did not respond for a week, after which he tweeted  that this is a top secret project. “I am not even telling it to Rahul,” he said.

Former mentor Singh however was keen to answer this question, even though he wasn’t asked about it. “The plan is going to be replicating the way Fadia became a world renowned expert in technology. The same way, Rahulbaba will become the world renowned expert of politics and development. He will crush his dreams for the dreams of the nation. Look at how Fadia has crushed his own dreams. The expert on technology that he is, he could have easily hacked into any girl’s FB account and relished her private pics. But he is making everyone aware about how to be safe, and crushing his dreams.”

He further went on to explain similarities between Fadia and Rahul, with special reference to how that will help him become the PM in 2014 elections. “Fadia has been dubbed as fake by all of the reputed names in technology, the same way Rahul has been dubbed as a pappu. Yet Fadia continues to stretch the limits of technology. So what will stop Rahul from stretching the limits of Indian populace?” he roared.

He said, “Critics come and go. Do you remember names of any of the critics who made logical criticism? No! You see the followers of Fadia are college kids who can understand how cool he is, and there is a new batch every year. Similarly, the slum and economically backward voters, the only class that comes to vote and votes Congress to power every year, will be back in 2014 and vote Congress back to power this time. Critics (read educated youth and tax payers) will again take a break to chill out on election day.” That’s what we call Fadia effect, he signed off.

Meanwhile, Rahul Gandhi is being prepped up to launch Rahul Gandhi Certified Logical Talker program.