Thursday, 25th August, 2016

PMO to dub silence over Manmohan Singh’s speeches to make them more believable

13, Sep 2013 By Vaibhav Anand

An unnamed source from within the UPA has revealed that the Prime Minister’s Office has begun dubbing silence over all sounds made by the Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in public, in an effort to make him more believable. The elaborate scheme incorporates sound technology imported from Germany and includes coughs, sneezes and other bodily sounds as well.

MMS
Manmohan Singh trying to reduce the volume of his breathing

“Yes, it’s absolutely true,” the source said, on condition of anonymity. “Most people haven’t heard Manmohan Singh speak for years now. If they do hear him speak now, there would be considerable panic in the system, more foreign investors will flee the country and there may even be riots somewhere.”

“Whatever the situation, the Prime Minister’s prime stance has to be silence,” the source added. “Be it incursions by China or Myanmar or Pakistan, inflation, crimes against women… Even acidity after a heavy meal is covered under this scheme. Theek hai?”

Vaibhav Anand