An unnamed source from within the UPA has revealed that the Prime Minister’s Office has begun dubbing silence over all sounds made by the Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in public, in an effort to make him more believable. The elaborate scheme incorporates sound technology imported from Germany and includes coughs, sneezes and other bodily sounds as well.
“Yes, it’s absolutely true,” the source said, on condition of anonymity. “Most people haven’t heard Manmohan Singh speak for years now. If they do hear him speak now, there would be considerable panic in the system, more foreign investors will flee the country and there may even be riots somewhere.”
“Whatever the situation, the Prime Minister’s prime stance has to be silence,” the source added. “Be it incursions by China or Myanmar or Pakistan, inflation, crimes against women… Even acidity after a heavy meal is covered under this scheme. Theek hai?”