Thursday, 29th June, 2017

Party instructs RR Patil to campaign wearing surgical mask; cites Ebola threat

13, Oct 2014 By thefunnybone

Mumbai. Hours after his controversial remarks about rape, former Maharashtra Home Minister RR Patil was seen campaigning wearing a surgical mask.

Sources informed Faking News that Patil – who seems to have developed a liking for the taste of his foot – has been instructed by the party chief to henceforth wear a surgical mask whenever he is out in public.

RR_Patil
“Hehehe..”

He has been advised to just wave his hands and make V signs with his fingers during rallies. While he was also trained to make N C and P signs using his fingers, it led to a lot of confusion amongst the electorate at the Kawathe-Mahankal assembly constituency, with some media persons also alleging he was ‘at it again’ making vulgar gestures, after which the idea was dropped.

The party chief has decided that if abba, as he was once fondly referred to as, wants to say anything during the rally, he can give a write it on a specially created Whatsapp group ‘ abba-dabba-jabba’ that is moderated by the senior leaders who will instantly decide if he should go ahead with what he has to say or not, in order to avoid further embarrassments.

The party official line however has been that it was nothing to do with the comments made by Patil but they just wanted him to take basic precautions against the ebola virus that was spreading.

When this correspondent questioned a senior party leader why only Patil was asked to wear the mask if it was indeed a precaution against Ebola, he said, “He was our former home minister and hence he is also on the radar of terrorists and bargirls.” When countered that the disease and terror groups had no link, the leader said something to the effect of biological warfare, waved to his supporters who shouted in unison ‘chai ke saath khari hain, hamara abba bhari hain’ following which they left.

A source within the NCP however confessed that while there was no Ebola threat as such, he insisted that Patil was indeed sick. “Abba suffers from brain freeze when he sees too many media persons. It is like his head and mouth play Chinese whispers. It starts with something else in his head and comes out something completely different. Abba is sick. Infact even the activist type women who always harass him, agreed with us that Abba was indeed a very sick man.”

Infact to ensure such partly leaders do not embarrass them again, the party has formed an ‘Ebola committee’ that will decide which other leaders need protection from Ebola depending upon their speeches.