Unbelievable ! Something unimaginable has happened. Yes, the fact that our Pappu is considering retirement from active politics has been confirmed by party’s internal sources.
Mind you, This is unprecedented, revolutionary as well as a historic day for this 67 year old nation. This is historic because something of this nature was never expected from a member of an ace dynasty as usually all of them thought it was their birth right, in fact even the idea of such happening could never be conceived by anyone till date.
We have tried to dig into this matter and found that it is solely Pappu’s decision and the entire dynasty is behind him to reconsider his foolish decision. Pappu has told his close aid that there are numerous reasons / matters which have cajoled him to retire.
He said – The fact that he could not make it big as he would have liked to or for that matter his family expected him to is a major setback of his princely life, more over the ad-campaign “Have I make it large” was executed to tarnish his intellectual image. He also said that it is shameful and unacceptable for him that even actors like Chanky Pandey gets death threat from underworld over phone and he doesn’t even gets a miss call from them.
This has hurt him badly and he has asked underworld to demonstrate compassion towards him. It seemed there was no end to Pappu’s suffering as his close aid told us that ‘Pappu’s girlfriend (ex-girlfriend now) in the moment of truth bluntly told him that “You are not targeted by perpetrators because probably you don’t matter” and for Pappu it was like someone ripped into his chest, pulled out his heart and hand it back over to him. Such painful I tell you’. Only thing which kept him happy was to be called “Shehzada” by modi which made him feel pampered but had no idea why his party created fuss over it.
Pappu took it positively and said “I probably needed to hear this. I have contributed immensely to the party’s cause and because of my epic strategies such as “visiting poor dalits and eating all their food, mindless demeanor and unintelligent speeches (all intentional) nobody any more talks about the carnival of scams the party workers indulged into.
The extent of damage control I have done will go down into the books of history. Taking Modi head-on, countering his intellect with my mindlessness in front of the entire nation was no smaller task. The amount of appreciation modi gets on the social media and the lambasting I get for being stupid is in a way neutralizing the impact and shift of perspective voters of the party. I have been simply awesome and humble about it.
On the other hand this has come as a blessing in disguise for party workers who couldn’t believe their fate changing over a night. Ace Politician Mr. ND Tiwari, who has been naughty all this years said, “He welcomes Pappu’s decision and hope that someday he will make it large, in the meantime he cant wait to create more lives and expend his dynasty.”
Another ace mindless politician and Pappu’s mentor Digvijay Singh said (clearing his throat, in a heavy voice), “Pappu followed my footsteps, an incredible sacrifice and now that the coast is clear I believe there is no one eligible as I am to be the PM candidate” and immediately we hear “Halwa Hain Kya” from Kapil Sibal who was eavesdropping from close quarters.
Party ministers, awestruck and overwhelmed by Pappu’s gesture are now planning a grandiose farewell the world will ever see – ‘A Pappu Carnival’. A junior party worker who had his apprehensions about the magnitude of this farewell, went to Mac Mohan Singh (who was quiet as usual ) and asked – “Your Excellency.
Will it be a Sachin-like farewell ? to that MMS after a jeering laughter said “What ! Pappu is Pappu (with pride) and Sachin is Sachin (mockingly). The carnival committee is headed by our honest, sincere and ace event organiser Mr. Suresh Kalmadi who is also known as epitome of honesty. Now this must give you a hint about the magnitude of this event”. This left the junior worker flabbergasted.
Now that Pappu’s retirement is inevitable, It is expected that Mr. Kalmadi will bring his most prized possession – the helium gas balloon which was retired and kept inside Kalmadi’s garage post CWG grand opening. It was merely used for display and trial performance check then (CWG). Only time will tell if ‘Pappu carnival’ can give Sachin’s farewell a run for its money or not.
Disclaimer: This is a humorous piece and should be taken with a pinch of salt.