Government of India (GoI) is seriously considering setting up one dozen proactive inquiries to contain the misdeeds of Narendra Modi, our sources say.
As per a senior official in ministry of home affairs, goals for such inquiries may be assigned later as and when they find anything substantial to charge Mr. Modi with. “See, the goal is to find out truth, whatever it may be. We had been successful in finding truth for 10 years in the riots case till the court broke our heart. We will also be almost successful in the stalk-gate.”
When our correspondent inquired whether such attempts aren’t indicative of political witch-hunting, the official took a strong objection. “See, the word witch is applicable to only women. Correct word for Mr. Modi is wizard. That is what he is – a political wizard, a Rambo, a sorcerer, a Gandalf, a Dumbledore! He has to be contained.”
At this point of our investigation, our correspondents were as clueless about the purpose of such large number of inquiries as the reader is. So they questioned one senior Congress leader who replied “Our goal is to protect the country by finding truth, whole truth and all the shades of truth about this man. Truth, truthiness, probability, possibility and even imaginations in Mr. Modi’s behavior and nail him – so that minorities and poor of this country feel safe.”
Upon asking whether the feeling of safety mean the same as actual safety, the leader smiled and quipped: “Let us not split hair on such pedantic issues. You are raising issues like a grammarian – like difference between terms witch and wizard.”